[during instrumental intro fly "buzzing" sounds to the lead guitar notes]

Tell you, sir, I think I'm going squirrely
I'm not sure I should tell this to you, guy
So know this man, what I say does concern me
So I'll cut right to the chase to save some time

Just last night I thought I heard the phone ring
I was just watching the tube, "The Price Is Right"
At the break; ate tart, leftover; it was moldy
Then I thought I heard a man, but saw a fly

What the hell, man, I just go on with my eating
This old fart's fat rear end just sat on down
But then I heard some faint, small voice repeating
Who's was it? Do not know, no one's around

Was just I, and some damn fly
Voice like child; yeah, it was quite high
Ain't took no dope in quite a while
And at my age not much still does surprise

{buzz, buzz-a-buzz-buzz, buzz, buzz-a-buzz-buzz}
{makes me cuss, I hear a buzz}

Heard a buzzing kind of sound; it echoed faintly
It sounded somewhat like a scream or squeal
My eyes dart left and right; exasperates me
I don't see no one; I wonder "What's the deal?"

I cussed and said, "Oh, darn", cause no one was there
I heard that voice again so faint and high
I swear and fume, say "Dadgummit", and, "Who is there?"
I stand amazed; it came from that damn fly

And he said, "Hi, yes I'm a fly
who was once just like you, a guy
Worked on a plan; it went awry
and now I'm stuck; I'm half-guy and half-fly"

{Yeah, man, that's no lie, that's all the truth}
{this is a true story, dude, you know it's true}

I shot right up and stared at my old bong, son
I swear it's been some years; I'm off the pipe
This can't be right; a prank's been pulled by someone
I grabbed some Raid and sprayed it at that fly

He hovered, then said, "Careful, that will waste me
Don't take me out; to kill me won't be cool"
I aimed and fired; I missed, it drives me crazy
I said, "Be gone", he yelled at me, "You're cruel"

I said, "Fly, you are starting to aggravate me
You'd better duck, or you will be deceased"
I was gunning for that fly, was mad and raving
I'd drill him with my spray; he'd cease to be

Gonna die, you stinking fly
Yeah, your time; it will soon expire
I've got you now, it's time to die
I'm gonna waste you now; flies I despise
He flew away, now I can't find that fly
And now I see that fly sh*t on my pie

{Eew!}
{Fly sh*t on my pie, and that's no lie}

{Bye...bye...}