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Song Parodies -> "50 Ways to Lose That Mustache"
Original Song Title:
"50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Paul Simon
Parody Song Title:
"50 Ways to Lose That Mustache"
Parody Written by:
Jan Unwin
The Lyrics
True story
When I went to lunch today my best friend said to me
Her boss is quite good looking but for one anomaly
I'm sure he sees it as a sign of his virility
There must be 50 ways to lose that mustache
She said it's really not my habit to intrude
But the way his 'stach crawls up his nose is really rather rude
And then there is way it seems to collect all his food
There must be 50 ways to lose that mustache
50 ways to lose that mustache
Just get out the Nair, Jer
Cut off your lip, Chip
Don't need all that fuzz, Buzz
Please listen to me
What's all the fuss, Gus
Epilady won't hurt much
Just drag out the Schick, Dick
You'll be a hot-tie
Ooo give it a trim, Tim
Get a weedeater, Peter
Still know you're a boy, Roy
Just listen to me
Give it a pluck, Chuck
It's a bit overmuch, Dutch
Don't be such a slob, Bob
And forget the goatee
She said it grieves me so to see that on his face
It's odd how such a little thing could take up so much space
The way it cascades down his lip is such a big disgrace
Must be 50 ways
She said since he is my boss I won't say it outright
But a mustache is a privilege, it's not like it's a right
Maybe if you write a song I'll point him to this site
There must be 50 ways to lose that mustache
50 ways to lose that mustache
Just get out the Nair, Jer
Cut off your lip, Chip
Don't need all that fuzz, Buzz
Please listen to me
What's all the fuss, Gus
Epilady won't hurt much
Just drag out the Schick, Dick
You'll be a hot-tie
Ooo give it a trim, Tim
Get a weedeater, Peter
Still know you're a boy, Roy
Just listen to me
Give it a pluck, Chuck
It's a bit overmuch, Dutch
Don't be such a slob, Bob
And forget the goatee
Her boss is quite good looking but for one anomaly
I'm sure he sees it as a sign of his virility
There must be 50 ways to lose that mustache
She said it's really not my habit to intrude
But the way his 'stach crawls up his nose is really rather rude
And then there is way it seems to collect all his food
There must be 50 ways to lose that mustache
50 ways to lose that mustache
Just get out the Nair, Jer
Cut off your lip, Chip
Don't need all that fuzz, Buzz
Please listen to me
What's all the fuss, Gus
Epilady won't hurt much
Just drag out the Schick, Dick
You'll be a hot-tie
Ooo give it a trim, Tim
Get a weedeater, Peter
Still know you're a boy, Roy
Just listen to me
Give it a pluck, Chuck
It's a bit overmuch, Dutch
Don't be such a slob, Bob
And forget the goatee
She said it grieves me so to see that on his face
It's odd how such a little thing could take up so much space
The way it cascades down his lip is such a big disgrace
Must be 50 ways
She said since he is my boss I won't say it outright
But a mustache is a privilege, it's not like it's a right
Maybe if you write a song I'll point him to this site
There must be 50 ways to lose that mustache
50 ways to lose that mustache
Just get out the Nair, Jer
Cut off your lip, Chip
Don't need all that fuzz, Buzz
Please listen to me
What's all the fuss, Gus
Epilady won't hurt much
Just drag out the Schick, Dick
You'll be a hot-tie
Ooo give it a trim, Tim
Get a weedeater, Peter
Still know you're a boy, Roy
Just listen to me
Give it a pluck, Chuck
It's a bit overmuch, Dutch
Don't be such a slob, Bob
And forget the goatee
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 6 | 6 | 6 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Top drawer top lip humor Jan!
Good job.
5's ! Reminds me of a "Seinfeld" episode when Jerry didn't want to get into group sex because he felt like he'd have to grow a mustache and then be known as "Orgy Man".
Ooops, not exactly - Jerry doesn't say he'd be "orgy man" but he does kvetch on and on about all the weird things he'd have to do, and growing a mustache is among them! Here's the script...
http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheSwitch.htm
http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheSwitch.htm
The Epilady reference was especially funny!
Could you just see Bunny Swan from Mad TV saying "He look a like a man, with a shave-a mustache", giving a description to the cops on a perp? Nice parody, Jan. Some clever lines.
Very funny stuff but in the future I'm gonna have to ask you to refrain from using words like "Peter" and "weedeater" in the same sentence. Also, "Schick" and "Dick". I thank you in advance for your cooperation.
Any objections to "Rod" and "Claude"?
That's fine, as long as there's no "sawed" in there.
The broad was awed by the rawd of Claude and said oh my gawd and began to applaud. Then his wife woke him up saying "Lawd, you snawed"
At least she didn't say your bawd is flawed and somewhat awed.
Anything to do with a mustache is fantastic!! It is a great parody. One of the best I've seen.
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