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Song Parodies -> "TCOPmania!"

Original Song Title:

"Polkamania!"

Original Performer:

Weird Al Yankovic

Parody Song Title:

"TCOPmania!"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

What's this? A new Weird Al polka? And I've got an appointment that's been moved to an inconvenient time, messing with my schedule? I think the stars are aligning.
This is a dumb die, infused-with-bad-luck die
Never-hits-enough die, makes-Thrag-look-a-putz die
Stats are mad high, he shoulda hit that guy
Instead swung his axe high, makes my anger stack high
It's a bad die, UGH!

I dunno anything, can't lie
Forgotten more than you've learned, right
Got no need to worry 'bout what I forgot (ooh-ooh)
'Cause it don't matter, not really, gulf between being smart and a dork (ooh-ooh)

I can buy myself trousers
Cook two foods that aren't fast
Grocery shop for hours
To find where bargains are had
Basic level adulting (hoo-ooh)
Should I be proud I did that (wa-ah-ah)?
Yeah, 'cause I thought I'd never manage, man

We don't talk about Pluto, no, no, no
We don't talk about Pluto

I used to think you were smart but then you got behind the wheel
Replaced a wheel with a log, your latest expensive scene, oh-oh-oh (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
No rubber (duh) burnt, brother, no way to drive when you goddamn lack tires

Yeah, had to click back, this blows, hate to scroll down loads
'Fraid your website won't get faved, hell no
I clicked on "back", no joke, hate to scroll down loads
Now I'll describe (listen, listen) more detail like so:
Of this page, I will read nothing
Back, I won't come running (no!)
Your whole site, I won't be touching

Clean tuxedo
Harder than it sounds to keep a clean tuxedo
I'm a slob, not used to keepin' my clothes neat, no
It's so hard to not down all the sauced-up meats, so

Mmm-hmm-hmm
Don't be dumb now, a cape? You're screwed
Worst-case scenarios, it's the truth
Almost hacked up half a lung, hence I tell you
All capes suck, simply shoddy
Oh I, oh I, oh I, oh I
Capes are all really shoddy
Oh I, oh I, oh I, oh I
Yodelodelayheehoo!

This kung-fu monk will sock it to ya
The kung-fu monk is gonna own ya
Better be nice, if you piss him off
He'll kick you in the crotch (hey!)

Doh
Doh doh-doh, doh doh

I can't believe I'm the only one who's not fooled by the mirage
Got a problem, it's a *rigged-ass jury*
Fairly easy thing to spot, this here *rigged-ass jury*
Judge, it's obvious you got a real *rigged-ass jury*
No, I will not shut up, that's a *rigged-ass jury*

Drank through necks, drank through necks
Drank through necks, "it's tradition", don't mean it's not shit
Drank through necks, drank through necks
Drank through necks, my opinion: I'd prefer the lips

Not feelin' too great
Somethin' in my throat grates
Been like this all day, mmm-hmm
And the last few days, mmm-hmm

I'm not fakin', this ain't fake, fake, fake, fake, fake
Truth I'm sayin', my throat grates, grates, grates, grates, grates
That's precisely why I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
I hate this cough, hate this cough (hoo-ooh-hoo)
Palm races to my face, face, face, face, face
In the way of my mouth spray, spray, spray, spray, spray
It's disgustin', so I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
I hate this cough, hate this cough
That's right, I really hate this cough
Really hate this cough, man, I hate this cough, hate, hate, hate this cough
Hey!

TCOP stands for The_Conqueror_Of_Parodies, BTW. And because there aren't really sound effects to stand in for "rigged" or "jury", my intention there is that those words are muffled, like the lawyer's slapping his hands over his client's mouth. For those interested in the original parodies, behold: bad die, Dunno, Trousers, We Don't Talk About Pluto, lack tires, Scroll Down Loads, Clean Tuxedo, Cape? You're Screwed, Kung-Fu Monk, Rigged-Ass Jury, Drank Through Necks and Hate This Cough.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 55

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   53
 53
 53
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Glenn Walker - July 24, 2024 - Report this comment
Outstanding job!! 555. @CML, Should this be considered for Big 7 inclusion?

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