You hate me, you hate me, you hate me

Don't be stupid (don't be stupid), you're an ass (you're an ass)
Oh, don't get mad (don't get mad), just the facts (basic stats)
It's almost nine (tick, tick), soon we'll close (click, click)
That means you should (means you should) make plans to go (whoo-ooh-ooh)
And not scream (not scream, uh) up a storm (huge storm)
Don't say you haven't been warned
Because you're standin' there rantin' near a freakin'
Large sign printed our time span, it's elapsin'

You're complainin', you claim (ah-ah-ah)
That you're not gonna stay inside this place for too long, uh
With ev'ry word you say, you're more wrong

I can't leave the store open (I can't leave the store open)
I won't leave the store open, jerk (I won't leave the store open, hopin')
That you'll get the friggin' hint and just let me clean and kill all the lights, buddy
I've got things at home to do (ooh-ooh-ooh)

We don't need (don't need) your type (your type)
Complete lies (uh-uh) about the time (about the time)
'Cause it's no (always no) "quick sec", okay (just no way)?
You'll be here browsin' 'til it's a new day (whoo-ooh-ooh)
Ooh, buddy, don't keep me waitin'
Just find your stuff and then start payin' (come on)
Don't stand there shiftin', mumblin'
I'm tempted to fetch my broom from the store room, start shovin'

Such a pain in my brain (ah-ah-ah)
'Cause it's always the same, you'd think that 'cause it's so dark, uh
That no-one (no-one) would dare (would dare) stay, it's a farce

I can't leave the store open (I can't leave the store open)
I won't leave the store open, jerk (I won't leave the store open (oh-oh), hopin')
That you'll pick up on the hints that I'm droppin' with my twitchy-ass eye, buddy
None of the tills are on, douche (wake up, jerk)

La-la-la, la-la-la-la (you drive me crazy)
La-la-la, la-la-la-la (and yet you call me lazy)
La-la-la, la-la-la-la (jerk, my hands are tied 'bout this)
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah (hey, hey)

I can't leave the store open, buddy (I can't leave the store open)
I won't leave, I won't leave the store open, jerk (I won't leave the store open (though I once had), once had)
Once had to give in to all you pricks but we worked out that it's not worth the time, buddy
CEO's can learn, can't you (whoo!)?

La-la-la, la-la-la-la (stop it), stop your rantin' and vamoose
Woo-woo-woo, woo-woo-woo, woo-woo-woo, woo-woo-woo, woo-woo-woo, woo-woo-woo
La-la-la (la-la-la), la-la-la-la (la-la), done it before? Sucks for you
But this policy is not new (oh), at least three months and we've told you (so you should know)
La-la-la, la-la-la-la (stop ravin', ravin', ravin'), you're the one that's bein' rude (it's true)
All of us have home things to do, I say "us", just me, still hate you (la-la, la-la)
La-la-la, la-la-la-la