I know he's called you a bunch of times
Tore up from the body up out of his mind
Saying he's sorry and asking if he can make that time
He's pulled a Dave and got laughing
Said some things he swore he meant
But I swear this time is tired, baby

No, it wasn't the late-night crazy
Two in the morning up calling you, baby
I wasn't out with my viewers playing football for it
That ain't at all how it all went up
It wasn't the whiskey and a country song
That you were hearing from my end of the show
All that talk I was talking 'bout wanting to go to sleep for it
That was all me
That wasn't Bob

Been pouring myself more into my time
Trying to hang on to what I still got
If I sounded like a viewer to us
It's 'cause I was

No, it wasn't the late-night crazy
Two in the sleepers up calling you, baby
I wasn't out with my friends in a big restaurant
That ain't at all how it all went down
It wasn't the prison and a parody song
That you were hearing from my end of the jail
All that talk I was talking 'bout releasing from a prison sentence
That was all me
That wasn't Bob

No, there wasn't no prison
No barstool to lean on
No straight shot of doggone bars for them

No, it wasn't the late-night crazy
Two in the prisoners up calling you, baby
I wasn't out with my friends in a big shopping store
That ain't at all how it all went down
It wasn't the nighttime and a country song
That you were hearing from my end of the phone
All that talk I was talking 'bout going to anybody for buying
It might be hard to believe
That was all me
That wasn't Bob