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Song Parodies -> "Phillip, the White-Haired Drummond"
Original Song Title:
"Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer"
Original Performer:
Gene Autry
Parody Song Title:
"Phillip, the White-Haired Drummond"
Parody Written by:
Drummond is Afraid of the Dark!
The Lyrics
When Phillip Drummond and Arnold Jackson were roommates for a week so that Willis could study for the SAT test, the revelation was made that Phillip Drummond was afraid of the dark, leading to Arnold scaring Phillip and making him fall off the bunk bed, and Phillip having a bad back in the morning. This song is all about that.
You know Arnold, and Willis, and Kimberly, and Sammy,
Garrett, and Pearlie, and second wife Maggie,
But, do you recall,
The most famous Drummond of all?
Phillip, the White, Rich, Drummond,
Made from money, head to toes,
And if you ever saw him,
He’d give you a big fat loan,
Two of the Drummond children,
Had an SAT study,
Then, Willis came to Drummond,
Asked to switch rooms for some peace.
Then, that night, would you believe?
Drummond came to say,
“Arnold, where’s your old nightlight?”
“I’m afraid of the dark at night!”
Then how the family chafed him,
As he fell off bunk beds, see,
Phillip, the White, Rich, Drummond,
Still sleeps in bed with a teddy!
(Instrumental)
Phillip, the White, Rich, Drummond,
Made from money, head to toes,
And if you ever saw him,
He’d give you a big fat loan,
Two of the Drummond children,
Had an SAT study,
Then, Willis came to Drummond,
Asked to switch rooms for some peace.
Then, that night, would you believe?
Drummond came to say,
“Arnold, where’s your old nightlight?”
“I’m afraid of the dark at night!”
Then how the family chafed him,
As he fell off bunk beds, see,
Phillip, the White, Rich, Drummond,
Still sleeps in bed with a teddy!
Garrett, and Pearlie, and second wife Maggie,
But, do you recall,
The most famous Drummond of all?
Phillip, the White, Rich, Drummond,
Made from money, head to toes,
And if you ever saw him,
He’d give you a big fat loan,
Two of the Drummond children,
Had an SAT study,
Then, Willis came to Drummond,
Asked to switch rooms for some peace.
Then, that night, would you believe?
Drummond came to say,
“Arnold, where’s your old nightlight?”
“I’m afraid of the dark at night!”
Then how the family chafed him,
As he fell off bunk beds, see,
Phillip, the White, Rich, Drummond,
Still sleeps in bed with a teddy!
(Instrumental)
Phillip, the White, Rich, Drummond,
Made from money, head to toes,
And if you ever saw him,
He’d give you a big fat loan,
Two of the Drummond children,
Had an SAT study,
Then, Willis came to Drummond,
Asked to switch rooms for some peace.
Then, that night, would you believe?
Drummond came to say,
“Arnold, where’s your old nightlight?”
“I’m afraid of the dark at night!”
Then how the family chafed him,
As he fell off bunk beds, see,
Phillip, the White, Rich, Drummond,
Still sleeps in bed with a teddy!
“Whatchu talkin’ bout, Arnold?” ~ Phillip “I’m Afraid of the Dark” Drummond
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Delightfully clever! I loved it.
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