Song Parodies -> "Jade Dude"

Original Song Title:

"Brain Stew"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"Jade Dude"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

A man comprised of living mineral...that would tend to catch one's eye, no?

I found a stranger who was green
He didn't seem to be wigged out
Just walks on by with no eyes
Got dulled-out features but he's fine
Watch him go buyin' bows

It isn't like he's painted green
No muscles bulgin' like the Hulk
He's crystalline, a man-shaped chunk
Is askin' why he's green too rude?
Gotta know, here I go

So I step up to this green guy
Now that I'm close, he looks like jade
My mouth is wide, it gets a punch
Boy, I feel like an idiot
Such a schmoe, down I go

When you're a man who's made of green
Barrage of questions can get dull
"Are you alive? Can you eat lunch?"
I should've guessed I'd seem a douche
Truth I won't ever know

Maybe one day I'll write a parody further exploring the life of the mineral man, but for now, let us just ponder how the last verse could've been sung when by all rights his jaw should be a fine paste.

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Stuart McArthur - March 16, 2018 - Report this comment

I feel like Shape Of Water’s marine man was just a crowd-warmer for your eerier Mineral Man, conq. Nice work. 555

Matthias - March 16, 2018 - Report this comment

This is a HIGHLY original idea T-Cop! The only thing I can picture is Ice Cube being literally made out of ice in Rick & Morty!

wannabemustangjockey - March 16, 2018 - Report this comment

Sounds like you ran afoul of the Jolly Green Giant. Next time eat your vegetables!

Peregrin - March 17, 2018 - Report this comment

I like it - a different tack to the rest of us - not based on something known. I liked the way in a few verses it told a short story of your curiosity and Mineral Man's frustrations. That's his problem though, sometimes he felt he got taken for Granite.

Claude Prez - March 17, 2018 - Report this comment

As a man-shaped chunk myself, I can relate, nice job.

Agrimorfee - March 17, 2018 - Report this comment

Indeed it was weird, but intriguing. I often complain to you that you should more often "show, don't tell" in your parodies, but too many details would have made it less interesting.

Peter Andersson - March 18, 2018 - Report this comment

I don't remember if the "living stone giants" in the first Hobbit movie were green (probably not) but this song made me think about them.

Sidebar question: What was the purpose of those stone giants anyway? They don't reappear in the later two movies (or in the three LOTR movies) so the whole scene is breaking "Chekhov's Gun/Law" for no particular reason it seems.

Jeff Reuben - March 18, 2018 - Report this comment

This one didn't leave me too jaded. Well done, was a good read.

Spaff.com - March 23, 2018 - Report this comment

Hey Conqueror! Peter pretty much nailed it for me: My brain went into full LOTR mode for this one. Nice little fantasy. And bonus points for using the word "crystalline." You unfortunately don't get to hear that one every day.

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