A lot of authors have a style to keep
If they wander from that, goodbye sales
Not one to pass the buck upon the pleebs
It's more the fickle critics why it fails
But I won't sour on my craft for now
Because I got a little tricky plan
I know I'm not the first to work this out
But I'll still have 'em eat out of my hand, cause I'll say

"Hey, Herb!" (my editor) "Do me a favour, please
Go and take my name there, cross it out
So they'll never know it's penned by me, hohoho"
I'm safe to genre jump, from bias, I'll be free
To be pigeonholed completely sucks
But you'll never know it's penned by me

Yes, sir, now I'll avoid the circus
That'll come from switchin' types
"You don't write this, therefore it's shit
He'res only half-a-star out of five"
I'll have a horror name, a comedy one, see
Some romance too when in the mood
Surprise! All of them are penned by me

Wah-wah-wah, oh my
Wah-wah-wah, no, no
Wah-wah-wah, my, my, my
Papadapapadadoopow, uh

I see sleeper hits
I see remade drafts
I see series pitched
For the Netflix man
I see readers who
Say "Looky here, haha
Think this Steve dude might be that Arthur dude, blog it!"
Then at interviews I won't be clear

I'll simply sit there slack-jawed, buggy-eyed
And then insinuate their brain's elsewhere
Cause I write mysteries, they're Sherlock-lite
I'd never dabble in that sci-fi fare
You see, I kinda prefer to keep a shroud
Upon all this, don't want 'em all to know
Must keep my list of nom de plumes in doubt
I find that rumours sell more books than folks who know

Hope Herb (my editor) will think this is good for me
I need his nod to pull this job
Hope they'll never think they're penned, never think they're penned
Bet they'll never think they're penned, never think they're penned
Nope, they'll never think they're penned by me
Ya-ha-ha
Wah-ha-ha
Better never think they're penned by me, ha