Lost it

Some folks may say that I've been careless
Losin' one thing constantly, reckless
Others say since it's not a necklace
Or somethin' else that's far more precious
I should not be this mad, so snobby
Cut that crap out now, man, and say you're sorry
Sure, not like I lost a huge investment
But I still need it a lot, so screw your assessment
That I'm bitchin' for no reason
You're a jerk, ev'ryone can see it
But if you're not gonna lend a hand
Go take a hike now, bud, I've got a house to scan
I'm overturnin' ev'ry urn in
My house 'til I find what I'm yearnin'
What is it, you ask? Well, I'm tellin' you
It seems once again that I've lost a shoe

Oh, oh, yeah, oh
Oh, oh, yeah, oh (I've lost a shoe)
Oh-oh, hey, oh-oh, yeah
Oh, oh, yeah, oh

My shoe is missin', so my mission
Is to find it or I'll be work skippin'
Lookin' around in all the weird places
Cupboard, bathroom, in the basement
Inclination: you'll make a statement
Somewhere along the lines of "check the closet, maybe?"
I checked in there twenty times, you snarky dope
Not completely thick as I may look, you know (oh)
Brain juice is flowin', may sound bogus
Cause I'm lookin' in my sink, but know this (oh):
That thing's shown up in odd places, bro
Found in once in my freezer, made the milk smell gross (oh)
Absent-minded fellow, that's the truth, bro
But don't yell at me that you do know (oh)
That I should just look under my bed, what a douche
Just don't get that I lost a shoe

I've forgotten just where it
Should be loungin', really annoyin' (I lost a shoe)
Tried recallin' just where it
Should be lyin', but I'm still failin', yeah

It's still missin', gettin' me thinkin'
I should go look outside, no trickin'
My shoes love to go walkabout all day
So it shouldn't be a stretch for me to go say
That they've taken a vacation
Seein' the sights not seen from their station
Bein' stuck on my feet all day long
Or lodged in the ceilin' when they're kicked off (oh)
It's not realistic? Stop pitchin' a shitfit (yeah)
If you knew my habits, then you'd be no dipshit (oh)
I hate shoes on my feet, so any chance I can (yeah)
They get flung off of my feet, both at home and work, man (oh)
So I wouldn't be shocked if my poor shot kick (yeah)
Sent one flyin' through the air, need to stop it (oh)
Rev my car up, the mission's on, dude
The bane of my life: lost a shoe

If I hate 'em, you're askin'
Why search for 'em? That's a dumb question (I lost a shoe)
When one's missin', the pair's broken
That I'm hatin', cause it's uneven (that's just how I work, fellas)

Oh-oh, hey, yeah, ho
Ooh-ooh, ooh, hey, yeah
Oh, oh, hey, yeah
Eeh, oh, oh, oh

Don't understand me, no way I can grab me
A spare pair of shoes, cause I don't have me
Another of the same kind that's missin', man
Got sneakers, thongs and formal shoes, and that is that
Just those three, bro, cause I don't need no
Four thousand pairs just cause I tend to free throw
My few shoes 'round, point to which I'm gettin':
Let me be me, man, I won't be switchin'
I know you're thinkin' that I'm a nitwit
Noticed that look in how your eye's twitchin'
C'mon, spit it out, dude, go on your tract
How I'm the biggest friggin' derp all because I lack
More than three pairs of shoes, get it off
Your chest, you jerk, need to get a move on
"Look down"? Okay, man, what's that s'pposed to do?
Oh, I see, it's to prove I've lost no shoe

I'm a moron, feel awful
For my mockin', buddy, I'll stop it (I've lost no shoe)
Cause I'm wearin' the same pair of
Shoes I thought that I had lost, dumbass (that's me, boy)
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, hey
Oh, oh, hey, oh
Oh-oh, hey, oh-oh, yeah
Oh, ho, he-ey, hey, yeah