Afraid you've been tricked by stupid films and cartoons
Former might as well be the latter, same blown-up look
Anyway, what I'm tryna say is: buddy, scrap your prank list
Because item eight ain't cool in any book
Good pranks need to be on some small level funny
A minimal amount of violence at the core
Whatever's in your brain that made you write this down, maybe
It should get looked at in case it gets bored

The sorts of things you think go on at college
Been inflated by the dreck you're watchin' now (ooh-ooh-ooh)
All that nonsense that you've always dreamed of
Is just silly, grow up, no-one shoves a cow

Where is the joke? Why pick the farmyard gate door?
You're yuckin' up 'cause burden beasts are dumb
Can stand up on their own, hell, they lie down often
Don't wanna see the farmer's sawn shotgun

Dude, the sorts of things you think go on at college
Just don't happen, least not this one anyhow (ooh-ooh-ooh)
Here for learnin', not that crap you've dreamed of
It's just silly, dumbass, no-one shoves a cow
All so silly, grow up, no-one shoves a cow