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Song Parodies -> "Hard Drive Stalled, Afraid My Squad's Screwed"

Original Song Title:

"I Just Called to Say I Love You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Stevie Wonder

Parody Song Title:

"Hard Drive Stalled, Afraid My Squad's Screwed"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

The worst time for a computer malfunction...
I love to play on online games
Team members from four diff'rent countries ev'ry day
But there's a hitch that's such a bitch:
I don't think my computer's up to snuff, okay?
Under a strain when things go boom
A hiss with each swung blade, a pop each time I shoot
God, this is it, I think it's doomed
Let out some real choice words that no mum would approve

Hard drive stalled, afraid my squad's screwed
Hard drive stalled, afraid they're boned out there
Hard drive stalled, afraid my squad's screwed
Really needing some more RAM or other parts

They could be fine, I'm just one guy
To cut a squad of five to four ain't bad, alright
I can't give me the pedigree
To say to challenge me is in-game suicide
So with me gone, my poor old team
Now has a gap larger than any vast ravine
My point is this: I think they're doomed
Because my PC was the server's linchpin, true

Hard drive stalled, afraid my squad's screwed
Hard drive stalled, afraid they're hosed out there, it's true
Hard drive stalled, afraid my squad's screwed
This is what I get for skimping on spare parts
Hard drive stalled (it's stalled), afraid (afraid) my squad's screwed
(It's stalled, afraid my squad's screwed)
Hard drive stalled (it's stalled), afraid they're boned out there (they're boned out there)
It's true (hard drive stalled, they're boned out there)
Hard drive stalled (it's stalled), afraid (afraid) my squad's screwed
(It's stalled, afraid my squad's screwed)
Using duct tape on the fan vents wasn't smart

Wasn't smart
Must restart ('fraid I must restart)

Not (intentionally) based on my personal experiences, though "computer quality" is pretty low on the reasons why, "I don't play the kind of game genres that are online" just narrowly beating out "I don't play games online".

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   2
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jonathan Spurlock - May 28, 2019 - Report this comment
I've never played true online games but something similar did happen when the power supply conked out on a previous computer. Fortunately for us, the man who gave us the bad news was able to siphon off all the stuff from the hard drive onto a whole-lotta-gig thumb drive. Yeah, computers can be our friends--but not all the time!
Agrimorfee - May 29, 2019 - Report this comment
My son and I have played Smash Bros on the switch online, and gee willikers, it does get bad sometimes when everyone starts moving in slooomoooo and hinders the gameplay. 555 gbs.

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