My running's strained, my throw is lame
Can't jump, least not very high
I tripped and fell into the ref
I suck, dare you to deny
And you cannot say this is an off-day
It's standard for me to
Waste all my team's time, pre- and post-halftime
Our chances are so screwed

Because I suck at basketball
I never earn a point at all
You'd think I'd just keep the benches warm
But there's no-one to repla-a-ace me
Screwed cause o-o-o-of me
Hey!

All the film critics hate on action flicks
They think they're dumb, really dumb, just boobs and guns
All the film critics hate on action flicks
They think they're dumb, really dumb, not real entertainment

But it seems it's time: two-month-long December
Happens each year, why? It's an odd endeavour
My brain is all no, no, no
But they're just like yeah, yeah, yeah
But I just say eh eh eh eh eh eh

Eh~ rarely plans wrong
Oh oh oh oh Captain Sparrow style
Eh~ where's the rum gone?
Oh oh oh oh
Eh eh eh eh eh eh eh
Hey!

What you did there
Yeah, that was crazy
You've indicators
So use 'em, maybe
The little button's there
It's quite easy
I can't forgive this
So indicate, please!

Got my feet in my mouth (hey!), cause I just blurt out
Some shit about (hey!) their son's dead mouse
I didn't know-ee-ow-ee-ow-ee-ow
I did not know-ee-ow-ee-ow-ee-ow-ee-ow-ee-ow-ee-ow

Now it's just a forum where I used to post
Just a stupid forum where I used to post

I'm twistin' round (hey!), I'm super limber
Compare me to a rubber ba-and
Flexible spine and rubber fingers
What an awesome power to ge-et
Limber, limber

This song sucks and I know it
The same tune, no changin'
This song sucks and I hate it

If what needs to be #told
Can't #fit in 1-4-0
There is #TwitLonger, bro
Those who #tweetlots need that, yo (hey!)
My tweet #count always grows (damn right)
I got #Flash fingers, bro (it's true!)
Each second, ten #new posts (can't stop reading posts)
Cause I #tweetlots, don't you know

I'm gonna hash my tags
Stick to the hundred and forty characters
I-I-I'm postin' ev'ry feckin' thought up
Up on Twitter-dot-com

I can't just jump up and run
Surrounded by dudes with guns
Don't want bullets in my butt
I'm not a fan of that, buddy
I need to shut up and run
Distract the guys with the guns
Cause getting shot is not fun
And so I yell "Hey, look! Monkeys!
Look over there, I see monkeys!
I swear they're there, lots of monkeys!"
As they all look at the "monkeys"
It's time for me to start running
Even though there are no monkeys
They always look for the "monkeys"
Wouldn't work as well with donkeys
So I'm sticking with monkeys

Yes, I just distract them with
Monkeys ("Hey, look! Monkeys!")
"Look, monkeys!" (I'm sayin' "Look, monkeys!")
"Look, monkeys!" (Yellin' "Look! Monkeys!")
Nobody can resist monkeys
Hey!