You're givin' me a million weasels, why is that so?
You're givin' me a million weasels, is this a joke?
You're givin' me a million weasels, give me a million weasels
Givin' me a million weasels, about a million weasels
I know that you know I have no animal skills
And so I've gotta make sure that you've taken your pills
'Cause you're givin' me a million weasels, give me a million weasels
Givin' me a million weasels, about a million weasels

Why must I explain that there's so many other better
Houses they could stay? As clear as "water makes you wetter"
You've got a hundred million weasels who need a place
But buddy, I can't handle just one, no space

How did all these mustelids come into your care?
If you just simply "found them", not sure I should know where
Still you're givin' me a million weasels, give me a million weasels
Givin' me a million weasels, about a million weasels
Maybe house 'em somewhere far more vet'rinary
Than my pissant apartment? Not enough room to breathe
When you're givin' me a million weasels, give me a million weasels
Givin' me a million weasels, about a million weasels

I said "Go away" but you don't seem to get the message
My phone has all day, so many friends of ours are texti'
"Steve's got a hundred million weasels to give away
Somebody please get "we don't want one" to stay"

They sound like they're seethin', seethin'
I don't wanna end up bleedin', bleedin'
Sure, you can say that they're sweeties, give or take
But there's no way I'm gonna take one, take one, take one, take one, take one, take one

These boxes cannot stay, not gonna take your rage-filled ferrets
No cash that you'd pay is worth my brain becomin' sep'rate
You've got a hundred million weasels and that's okay
As long as I don't have to take one, take one
No way you'll get me to take one, take one
Buddy, I'm not gonna take one today