Song Parodies -> "Coffee Break"

Original Song Title:

"Wide Awake"

Original Performer:

"Coffee Break"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Part of my "Shine Brighter" self-challenge. I've never held a retail job (or any job, for that matter) but I imagine that any break would be a welcome relief from the average stupid customer. Hence: parody!

I'm on a break
My coffee break

I'm on my break
This morning's been too hard
My brain's split apart
I can't feel my arse
I'm on my break
Customers think they are not wrong
Now I'm on break
Now people cannot scream
'Bout sales that stopped last week
And they're too bloody cheap
Give me a break
Hang on, I've just got one, awesome

From raging bigots
To crazy clowns
Wanting free shit
Or just marked down
Lots of butthurt
Complaining at me
Hours I've been stuck
Now I am free

No more scamming guys
Screaming kids, bye-bye
All of them want half-price
Someone else's problem, nice!

On coffee break
Don't have to deal with freaks
Demanding shit for free
Because they couldn't read
I'm on my break
They won't listen to me, oh well, oh

I love my break
No dealing with returns
These people never learn
With my patience, I've earned
My coffee break
I can forget about those jerks

"I want the owner
Go get him NOW!"
Then I fetch Kim
Moron runs out
"Find me a shirt
In this shade of green"
This is a tough job
I need coffee

Refunds and lay-buys (gotta handle the douches)
Asshole sexist guys
My facepalm count is high (gotta pass the time some how)
One coffee, all is fine

I'm on my break
Read the damn fine print
On the receipt, dink
(Give me a break)
That's the frigging wrong coupon
I love my break
Calms me down inside
Un-wearies my eyes
(I'm on my break)
Couldn't take those gits much more

I'm on my break
My coffee break

Yeah, this shift just breaks my mind (they ask questions so stupid)
Dealing with long lines
I'm human, not a damn A.I. (don't treat me like a robot)
I'm clocking out, all right

I'm on my break
My coffee break
And muffin break
I love my break
My too-short break

"Un-wearies" is my own term, based off the word "weary", just in case that confuzzled you.

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Blaydeman - February 20, 2013 - Report this comment

Good one TCOP, I thought this one had a good mix of dealing with the obnoxious customers and taking solace in a simple cup of coffee. If it would've leaned either way, it may not have worked as well, but you found a good balance. Take 555 and get some coffee.

Old Man Ribber - February 20, 2013 - Report this comment

TCOP - A cup of coffee, a reprieve from idiots, and a 5/5/5. Now THAT'S living. ;D

John Lomain - February 20, 2013 - Report this comment

This was good, you'll be wide awake with all the coffee. The realism was good, dktos but I know this is much better than all her sh**

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