Wasted my bu-ucks o-on all these bro-own things in my shed
Bought them all last week, tricked by-y TV to go-o and splurge o-on them
By green, I'm a-always greeted whe-en I flick the li-ight
Those stupid "pets" all stare at me 'til I-I get ba-ack inside
I watered them fo-or a long whi-ile so I-I could see
The picture on the pa-ackage in real li-ife in fro-ont of me
A giant wa-all of gree-een would gi-ive me such a smi-ile
But as they formed, I got so bored I a-almost gou-ouged my eyes

I-I-I, I wish that I had kno-own
How much these damn things blo-ow
And so I'm feelin' lo-ow
I-I-I, I just want them thrown awa-ay
Reminds me of my wa-aste
I hate them, I hate them

I've got a garden to bring me-e my green delights
So why did I sink my savi-ings into the-ese novelty lies?
The ads all to-old me that the gra-ass would gro-ow with ea-ease
Only later wa-as when I-I learned it was a-all stop-motion, geez
All of my friends mo-ocked me for wha-at I chose to buy
My face is red, wish that I-I cou-ould ditch these thi-ings, but it's not right
For me, it's really ha-ard to ju-ust give u-up and pa-art
With the smallest pie-iece of my complete collectio-ion, it just feels harsh

I-I-I, I still wish that I'd kno-own
That these things really blo-ow
But I can't let them go-o
I-I-I, I can't throw them all awa-ay
I really should, they're la-ame
I hate them, I hate them