Workin' at the scrapyard, waitin' 'til the clock gets to fi-ive
When my phone li-ights up, no sound, just a buzz
Cause I keep the thing on silent, and because I can see it's from my wi-ife
She knows a te-ext's enough to say what she wants
I read it behind the bog door, yell to the boss "got to go-o"
Cause the words tha-at she wrote, I hope they are a joke
Yes, the words tha-at she wrote, they freaked me out li-ike so-o

Now I'm in my Mitsubishi, tryin' not to explode
Panickin' is standard here, ma-ate
Been with her six years, I thought she'd never sa-a-ay
That soon our family's gonna have a new addition
Words are clea-ear, the black text upon whi-ite
"i haz a bun in the oven" come on, traffic, move the hell aside

A lot of things to think about when in nine months, your child will be bo-orn
Like when that thing shits all over your clean floor
Lots of names we could be choosin', clothes buyin', whole lotta stu-uff
It's frayin' ev'ry nerve, not that I don't want
A real child of mine, but I'm goi-in' nu-uts

Now ev'ry time I hit a traffic stop, wrong words fly out non-stop
Cause these twats are in my wa-ay
Want to crack a beer or ten and celebra-a-ate
Cause most of the time when you find out your wife is pregnant
You flip-flo-op from shocked-face to wide smi-iles
She's got a bun in the oven, I'll be freakin' like this for a while
Yee-hoo!

I fin'lly get home, park the car, near bust in through the window
Cause this is the biggest day of my li-ife
Pop the champagne "Cheers!", my wife looks at me stra-a-ange
I get the feelin' that I've done somethin' really stupid
I look do-own and it proves that thought ri-ight
Because that "bun in the oven" was less literal in my dumb mind
It's true, that "bun in the oven" was just baked goods, man, we laughed all ni-ight

I feel like a dumbarse, look like such a twit to my wi-ife
Those were tasty-y buns, she's good at that stu-uff
But then a sho-ock did come, cause she's holdin' up
A stick with two straight lines, passed out in my bu-u-uns