All I wanna do is no-ot loo-ook like a huge dork
But I cannot lie, I ca-an't even roast marshma-allows
I feel like such a du-umbshite, it'll haunt me for all my life
All I wanna do is lea-earn how to roast marshma-allows, oh, oh, oh

You'd think "no-one is that lame"
But I am, believe me, I'm fed up
Stick white thing into flames
And that's meant to make it ta-aste better
Though I have tried my best
It seems that I might never
Ever get the hang of this
All I get's a lump of carbon, oh-oh
I won't put that inside my body
It's gonna cause lots of problems
Stomach isn't strong, wasted one more bowl
O-Of mallows

All I wanna do is no-ot loo-ook like such a dork
For all of my life, neve-er learnt to roast marshma-allows
You can call me a du-umbshite, and you should know that you'd be right
Cause what kinda fool fails a-at the task "roast marshma-allows"? Oh, oh, oh

My timin's real off, I fear (ah-ah-ah)
I don't know how many seconds (ah-ah-ah)
To leave it in, is it seared?
Or is it barely lukewarm? Hate this (ooh)
And I don't think it's good (ooh)
That you push that since we're in nature
We gotta use sticks we fou-ound
Off the ground, what's the nomenclatu-u-u-ure?
It's gross and it's unhygienic
Think it's screwin' up my timin'
Need to get it done, inside my mouth hole
Ew-ew, it's gross

All I wanna do is no-ot loo-ook like a big dork
Because somehow I don't kno-ow how to roast marshma-allows
I'm aware I'm a du-umbshite, it's not a thing I'm proud of, right
Only an absolute twa-at cannot roast marshma-allows, oh, oh, oh

Even if I-I don't leave it in lo-ong (too long)
And it's not made of carbon and I'm not usin' a stick for o-once
And I fend off all of the hungry-ass flies
I know that it's gonna fall right off, that's shi-ite

All I wanna do is no-ot loo-ook like a right dork
Cause I've yet to learn the tri-ick, I can't roast marshma-allo-o-ows
Because I'm such a du-umbshite (dumbshite), somethin' in my head isn't ri-ight
Totally useless, becau-ause I can't roast marshma-allows, oh, oh, oh (oh-ooh-oh-ooh-oh)
All I wanna do is no-ot loo-ook like a great dork (a giant dork)
The only dude in the wo-orld who can't roast marshma-allows
Know full-well I'm a du-umbshite, whether the mallow's pink or white
It's a sad, but potent fa-act I can't roast marshma-allows, oh, oh, oh (oh-ooh-oh-ooh-oh)