Damn seam, bud
Splicin'
My-y na-ads (oh-oh, yeah)

Maybe I pulled my belt too mu-uch, mu-uch (oh, oh, oh-oh)
Or maybe these pants have just shru-unk (cause they're too tight)
My only pair of pants
The rest were thrown out, man
Cause they were all so tight as ba-alls, ba-alls (oh, oh, oh-oh)
Wish I had some pairs of sho-orts
I guess I could forget wearin' pants and never go outdoo-oors
But I'd feel really weird, this is nu-uts
They're gettin' crushed cause these pants are tight, t-too tight

Tight pa-ants, not feelin' okay
Da-doo-doo-doo
Tight pa-ants, walk's not lookin' great
Da-doo-doo-doo
Tight pa-ants, causin' so much pain
Pa-pa-pa-pa-ants (pa-ants)
Pa-ants (pa-ants), pa-ants (pa-ants)
Tight ti-ti-tight pa-ants (pa-ants, pa-ants, pa-ants)

It seems the damn things can't wear ou-out, ou-out (oh, oh, oh-oh)
Can't use the pockets, need a pou-ouch, pou-ouch (need a pouch, right)
These pants make me look lame
And make me so, not great
Can't walk, just waddle, this is shi-ite, shi-ite (oh, oh, oh-oh)
Get stares when I go outdoo-oors
And not the kind I like, they stare like my nose is quite defo-ormed
Which it is, sorta, it's kinda la-arge
Not the point, the point's my pants are tight, t-too tight

Tight pa-ants, I don't feel okay
Da-doo-doo-doo
Tight pa-ants, junk is on display
Da-doo-doo-doo
Tight pa-ants, tears fall down my face
Pa-pa-pa-pa-ants (pa-ants)
Pa-ants (pa-ants), pa-ants (pa-ants)
Tight ti-ti-tight

I can't sit down, pants won't let me, standin' up for way too long (he-ey)
Many times the fly came way too close to snaggin' my balls (he-ey)
And a wedgie's startin' up, goin' deep into my butt like a thong (he-ey)
Yes, I hate it, really hate it, I'm not sure if I can get them off, yea-eah
Buddy, believe me, these pants are damn near killin' me-e
At least no-one can pull the things down, ri-ight do-own
Should go to K-Mart and get pants, but I don't have much mone-ey
So for now I'll stay inside and just faff around in

Pa-ants, tight as hell, not great (oh-oh)
Da-doo-doo-doo (ooh, yeah)
Tight pa-ants, removal takes days
Da-doo-doo-doo (ooh, yea-eah)
Tight pa-ants, squeeze my nuts, not great
Da-doo-doo-doo (ooh, yea-eah)
Tight pa-ants, my sweat can't escape
Da-doo-doo-doo (oh-oh-oh)
Tight pa-ants, can't bend down, not great
Pa-pa-pa-pa-ants (only pair, oka-ay) (pa-ants)
Pa-ants (pa-ants), pa-ants (yea-eah) (pa-ants)
Tight ti-ti-tight (oh-oh)

They're grating
Nuisance
Wooh
They blow!

People talkin', say I'm gothic, got these damn things from Hot Topic
That's just bollocks and pure nonsense, it's 'cause, I think, of bad washin'
People talkin', say I'm bonkers, should be glad these things ain't fallin'
Quite ironic, cause before these pants were so loose, 'twas obnoxious

Blows, that these pants are all I've got to hide my balls
Yes, I've got undies, they suck at obscurin'
And so, this pants dilemma would be solved if I had dough (don't have it)
Hence why they blow (I hate it)

Tight pa-ants, crush my thighs, not great
Da-doo-doo-doo
Tight pa-ants, screwin' up my gait
Da-doo-doo-doo
Tight pa-ants (buddy), pop my balls, not great
Da-doo-doo-doo
Tight pa-ants, uncomfy, much hate
Da-doo-doo-doo (sucks, buddy)
Tight pa-ants, I can't stretch, not great
Pa-pa-pa-pa-ants (pa-ants) (hurts my bollocks, buddy)
Pa-ants (pa-ants), pa-ants (pa-ants)
Tight ti-ti-tight pa-ants (pa-ants, pa-ants, pa-ants)