Ba ba da da
Ba ba da da
Ba ba da da, ba ba da da
Ba ba da da

Take a look at my butt, friend
Well, is it big or is it not? (ba ba da da)
Just tell me the real truth, friend
Cause I don't want a giant bot (ba ba da da, ba ba da da)

Don't want to be the butt of jokes
So I don't want you to sugar coat
I want the truth told straight, nothing bent
Tell me the current state of my butt, friend
Yes, I know the cliche's old
"Does my butt look big" it has been told
In all the shows and films, such shit
But a grain of truth does in fact lie therein (ba ba da da)
That people like me care 'bout their weight
And don't want a butt so large that it shakes
With ev'ry step, so I want you to spill it:
Does my arse make the very ground quake?
Will it make ev'ry chair I sit on break?
Don't be so dumb, I don't trust scales, their results are just junk
Tell me the truth: do I have a big butt? (ba ba da da, ba ba da da)

Take a look at my butt, friend
Well, is is it big or is it not? (ba ba da da)
Don't give me that bullshit, friend
"I think you still look really hot" (ba ba da da, ba ba da da)
Just look close at my butt, friend
Well, is it big or is it not? (ba ba da da)
Just give me the full truth, friend
Don't alter it, cause you I'll clock (ba ba da da, ba ba da da)

Asking you to look at my ass
I know you've done it lots in the past
But now you all of a sudden don't want to look at butts
Does that mean you think that it's fat? I thought as much
You say "No, you've got me all wrong"
Then why so skittish, what brought this on?
This is a black and white question, there's no grey
Just tell me straight up: has my butt gained weight? (ba ba da da)
Important thing for me to know
Whether I should go and get my butt toned
Just tell me what variety my butt is (ba ba da da)
This subject will not be changed, though
Don't dare to ask me "how did your day go?"
I'll ask you one time more, look at my glutes and say if they're an eyesore
While I asked I locked all of the doors, once more, Ash

Take a look at my butt, friend
Well, is is it big or is it not? (ba ba da da)
Can't worm out of this one, friend
My fragile psyche needs your thoughts (ba ba da da, ba ba da da)

I've heard you lie, so don't pull 'em out this time
Want your honest thoughts on my butt (is it plump?)
I know I said I'd ask one more time
But you wimped out, so there (that's not fair)
Thought you were a good friend, won't do this one thing
You act like you're sitting on a bomb (and that's just wrong)
Not gonna bite your head off, that's absurd
It's your avoidin' that's got me all sour
Just want the truth heard
Cause really, my ass looks bulbous, don't it?
The grammar's wrong? That's just more subject swapping, I condone it
Is my butt a large butt? Tell me bud, I want you to be honest cause
If it's too big I can't keep all my things in my pockets, be clear

Take a look at my butt, friend
Well, is it big or is it not? (ba ba da da)
Don't say that it looks "nice", friend
A cop-out isn't what I want (ba ba da da, ba ba da da)
Take a squiz at my butt, friend
When I sneeze, does it jiggle lots? (ba ba da da)
I know that it sounds weird, friend
Since you're a girl and I am not (ba ba da da, ba ba da da)