(eating sounds)
Guess who's fat
Fat again
I am fat
Tell a friend
Now everyone report to the kitchen
to the kitchen, to the kitchen
Now everyone report to the kitchen
Holy Crap: its a smorgasboard

i ate too many fritters and now i'm fat
and when i say fat, i really mean fat
and i don't mean fat as in a tiny little bee's knees overweight
(YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM)
don't worry, i've got a big long shelf of sauce
wat else can i do when the stuff tastes like horse
nothing makes it taste better EXCEPT lots of sauce
and that's what made me stab michael
and then i ate him, they say i'm psycho
OK i went crazy
sometimes i get a little bit out of control wit my lunch
Good God, look at me, i'm really wide
i try to touch my toes and i'll slide
to the center of the kitchen
at least you can't see my bumhole
and i better not let one go
everyone'll go if they hear it
i hope i don't go 'poot-poot!', it won't be okay
(absolutely disgusting, really loud and long fart sound)
Oops my pants just ripped
and all the guys fell in the cheesy dip

Chorus:
Now i'm gonna eat some steak
and some cake
but mainly i'll eat some steak
hey wait, is it beef, beef beef beef
man you know i love beef
whatever it is, i'll eat it
(YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM)
just eat it
(YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM)
with gravy
(YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM)
with gravy
(YUM YUM)
with heavy gravy
(YUM YUM)

it's Friday and it's pie-day
i'm gonna eat pie all this Friday
or is it Thursday, i dunno what day it is
every day is an eating day
food is on the table
maybe i am able
to shove the lot all down my cake-hole
i dunno where it's going
whatever it is i know
i'ts gonna be 'smothered in gravy'

excuse me miss, please don't call me a whack-job
but i accidentally ate my best mate Bob
he punched me in the stomach, i pulled his hair
he spat on me, then i ate the idiot (yeah)
Anyway, what's your name,doll
what's your sign
(GIRL) WHAT?! you must be outta your mind
HEY! (YUM YUM)
you have a good point
now get me the guy who's running this joint

Chorus

It's Tuesday and i'm tanked up
I'm in bed but i don't know what happened
they say i was yellin at the chef when
i saw something and i went
(YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM)
could've been curry, with lots of chilli
and i said this
'i'm not that filthy'
they said 'sorry mate, try and explain this tape
with you eatin' stale cakes which are 'smothered in gravy'

and that was the part where i got chased outta town
it was really intense, and i was slowing down
'cause i was like twenty miles all round
i was so fat i was kinda chasin' myself
then i snapped back to reality
and i said to the crowd
'what, you're tryin' to stab me?
i'm a powerful man!'
they went 'grovel grovel grovel grovel grovel
we are so not worthy and grovel grovel grovel'
Subjects! (WHAT?!) Subjects! (WHAT?!)
gimme lots of cake and don't act jealous (huh?)
Black cake
White cake
Skinny cake
Fat cake
Tall cake
Small cake
just gimme all cake
everyone report to the kitchen
it's in mitcham don't care if your hitchin'
with someone else just come to my house
and go (YUM YUM YUM YUM)
and bring lots of sauce

Chorus

Mmmmmmm that's good gravy
Mmmmmmm add more gravy
You say: 'How much gravy?'
I say 'til it's smothered in gravy'