After work, I love puttin' drinks in me
Which is fine except for the sportin' scene
What kind of jerk gives sharp things to drunks?
Always one guy who aims for the butt, oh-oh-oh-oh

Some prick threw a dart at me
So which prick threw a dart at me?
Need to know, some dick threw a dart at me
So which dick threw a dart at me?
Gotta know, some shit threw a dart at me
So which shit threw a dart at me?
I must know, some prick threw a dart at me
So which prick threw a dart at, dart at, dart at, ow! (ooh-ooh)

Ah
Ooh-ooh
Ah

I laughed, at first, at my new pierced derrière (ah, ooh-ooh)
Could be the plonk, I still honestly chortled there (ah, ooh-ooh)
But after time and more pokes came through (ah, ooh-ooh)?
Can't be a quirk when it happens each time, dude (ah), oh-oh-ooh

Some jerk threw a dart at me
So which jerk threw a dart at me?
Need to know, some twerp threw a dart at me
So which twerp threw a dart at me?
Gotta know, some berk threw a dart at me
So which berk threw a dart at me?
I must know, some jerk threw a dart at me
So which jerk threw a dart at, dart at, dart at, ow!

Ah
Ooh-ooh
Ah

They're way too pointy, keep endin' up in me
And no-one around me saw the origin point? Oh, please
This ain't fair, don't deserve the sting of these pointy things
Least they miss the dart stash in my back pockets
Ah
Ooh-ooh
Ah

Some prat threw a dart at me
So which prat threw a dart at me?
Need to know, some twat threw a dart at me
So which twat threw a dart at me?
Gotta know, some ass threw a dart at me
So which ass threw a dart at me?
I must know, some prick threw a dart at me
So which prick threw a dart at me
Gotta know, some dick threw a dart at me
So which dick threw a dart at me?
Need to know, some shit threw a dart at me
So which shit threw a dart at, dart at, dart at, ow (ooh-ooh)!