Hate to-o stop what I-I was ju-ust doin', you kno-ow
Somethin's not ri-ight
On my-y hands a-an' knee-ees, I'm scramblin' tryin' to fi-ind
That thing of mine
Without it, can't tell the ho-ur, let alone the damn minute
And so my whole schedule's gone unfinished
You may call it quite pointless but I do-o need it ev'ry da-a-ay

Whe-ere the bloody hell's it go-one?
I'm gonna waste my da-ay searchin', makes me irate
I mean I might as we-ell tear out my-y hai-air
I dropped my watch so-omewhere

Oh, won't you-ou stay? It's go-onna ta-ake all afternoo-oon
Maybe all ni-ight
To find thi-is bloody lo-ost watch by-y myse-elf, it's la-ame
Some help would be nice
I do-on't know if it's at home or hidden right here
If I dropped it while walkin', I'll need a hard beer
No hints I can see-ee that would show where that thing's go-one awa-a-ay

My mi-issin' watch pisses me o-off
It's easily repla-aced but I'm not gonna, mate
Drains batt'ry like a sie-ieve, but I do-on't ca-are
It's my watch lost so-omewhere

Got a question to a-ask? Go right ahead, my ma-an
My eye is twitchin', but sure, shoo-oot
I just emptied my de-esk, makes sense that you'd wonder
So, what is your question, du-ude?

Dude:
Who cares 'bout a damn wristwatch? Heh-heh-heh
You're a dork if you still use a watch
Is your phone broken, mate? Or have you gone insane?
I don't know why or ho-ow I'm s'ppo-osed to-o care
Cause it's just a stupid watch
If it's an heirloom, great, but I don't think so, mate
I've seen the damn recei-eipt, so I do-on't care
So don't care
No, I don't ca-a-are
You lost your watch so-omewhere

Who cares about a watch? You hipster or somethin'?
Me:
To me it matters, I lost my watch somewhere
Dude:
A call on line five from Missed-The-Question-ville, it's for you, dipstick
Me:
I heard that
Dude:
You gonna answer, dude?
Me:
Bite me
Dude:
I repeat: who cares?
Me:
All those in Shit's-Gone-Missin'-ville, you dumbshite
Dude:
Fair point and well put
Me:
Gonna help then, man?
Dude:
No way, I've got other things to do than crawl around like I'm a stupid kid sneakin'
Me:
Ahahahahaha, you're an absolute shit-stick
Dude:
That's fine. Good luck with your watch, I'll go somewhere
Me:
You're askin' for a punch
Dude:
What's on my desk here?
Me:
You arse!