Noshin' a whole ham--that I happily extol.
Some like corn and tripe or some mutton; nose
I turn up at such food goals.

Noshin' a whole ham, with curly tail cut away.
Keep your sturgeon roe and your farmed Coho
And gamey alewife at bay.

I just chow down on ham--the most
Delicious chow I've found,
And when I taste it, cured and red,
I wolf down another pound.

Oh, noshin' a whole ham, a swinish delicacy.
This chilled consommé, please take it away,
It just makes me have to pee.

Rumpity-rump-rump, rumpity-rump-rump,
That's the first to go.
Chompety-chomp-chomp, chompety-chomp-chomp,
The legs and feet follow.

Noshin' a whole ham; stunned by what I put away,
They think that I'm done, but another one
From the kitchen's on the way.

Mouth and mitts pillage--hands pick at this second ham
I don't even care how I hog this fare--
"Excuse my bad manners, ma'am."

They set it down, another round;
In front of me it's dropped
And soon my paws are in it;
Once I start, I can't be stopped.

Noshin' a whole ham. Curry's OK for Bombay.
I'll have no fish fry and no Apple pie,
I'll just snack on ham all day.