We are cardboard litho cut-outs
Making our debut this year
We fill the seats at Kauffman
Since the real fans can't be here
We are integrated racially
So the snowflakes can't complain
But our jobs will end abruptly
If they leave us in the rain

An abbreviated schedule
Like baseball never knew
The rosters decimated
By a wave of Chinese flu
Now you cannot play in Canada
Since the border has been closed
While the guys who sell the hotdogs,
They have been completely hosed

It's a season like no other
Since the Major Leagues began
The owners improvising
They do the best they can
Some players will sit the year out
'cause they say they are afraid
While the others holler "Play ball!"
'cause they're wanting to be paid

It's a limited engagement,
Games cut by more than half
If it weren't so serious,
We'd have ourselves a laugh
Reminisce of Series victories,
And dream about next year
Then close out Twenty-Twenty
With a pre-recorded cheer

It's the most bizarre arrangement
In the history of the sport
And we get the latest details
On the TV news report
There'll be a telltale asterisk
By every stat and score
And the Twenty-Twenty season
Will be marked forever more