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Song Parodies -> "How Do You Think My Girl Got Gonorrhea"
Original Song Title:
"How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria"
Original Performer:
Sound Of Music Soundtrack
Parody Song Title:
"How Do You Think My Girl Got Gonorrhea"
Parody Written by:
Invisible Boy
The Lyrics
Yes this OS uses the word "flibbertijibbet"...twice!!! For a heartwarming version of the OS go...Here
How Do You Think My Girl Got Gonorrhea?
She’s always sweet and so petite
She brightens up a room
My senses soar as I adore
The smell of her perfume
My plan is very simple
And, I hope to be her groom
And, we’ve agreed to wait until we marry…
But, lately she’s been acting
In a funny sort-of way
She’s out all night and comes home tight
And, much to my dismay
She never wants to cuddle
Watching “Roman Holiday”
And, then I got that call from Doctor Larry…
“I have a bit of news for you, old chap
Your girlfriend…has the…Clap”
How do you think my girl got gonorrhea?
How did she catch a malady so foul?
Where do you think she got her gonorrhea?
A toilet-that-did-it?…A bicycle seat?…A towel?
Many a question I would like to ask her
Many a thing that I can’t plainly see
Like, “How a nice girl like you
So faithful and pure and true
Ever could wind-up with an STD”?
Whoa…
I don't know how my girl got gonorrhea
Right now it’s just a mystery to me
Now, believe me…I’m no prude
Sure, we once got semi-nude
And, we petted and we messed-around and stuff
But, when things got hot and heavy
In my Chevy by the levee
She said, “Darling! Keep your pants on! That’s enough!”
When I questioned her request
While her chastity was pressed
There, I thought, nonplusing, this might be a plus
“We’ll be pious… we’ll be graced
Like two saints we’ll… both be chaste”
But my problem…is my angel’s
Pumping pus !
How do you think my girl got gonorrhea?
What is the proper way to diagnose?
Was it that bathroom at the pizzeria?
That triggered-the-oozin’! The pip-o'-the drip! The dose!
What if it’s an “Immaculate Infection”?
Maybe her lower-half should be enshrined
And, then there would be a race
To visit her holy place
She’d have a gift to share with all mankind
So…
Now, I know how my girl got gonorrhea
And, it’s released a big load…from my mind…
IB
She’s always sweet and so petite
She brightens up a room
My senses soar as I adore
The smell of her perfume
My plan is very simple
And, I hope to be her groom
And, we’ve agreed to wait until we marry…
But, lately she’s been acting
In a funny sort-of way
She’s out all night and comes home tight
And, much to my dismay
She never wants to cuddle
Watching “Roman Holiday”
And, then I got that call from Doctor Larry…
“I have a bit of news for you, old chap
Your girlfriend…has the…Clap”
How do you think my girl got gonorrhea?
How did she catch a malady so foul?
Where do you think she got her gonorrhea?
A toilet-that-did-it?…A bicycle seat?…A towel?
Many a question I would like to ask her
Many a thing that I can’t plainly see
Like, “How a nice girl like you
So faithful and pure and true
Ever could wind-up with an STD”?
Whoa…
I don't know how my girl got gonorrhea
Right now it’s just a mystery to me
Now, believe me…I’m no prude
Sure, we once got semi-nude
And, we petted and we messed-around and stuff
But, when things got hot and heavy
In my Chevy by the levee
She said, “Darling! Keep your pants on! That’s enough!”
When I questioned her request
While her chastity was pressed
There, I thought, nonplusing, this might be a plus
“We’ll be pious… we’ll be graced
Like two saints we’ll… both be chaste”
But my problem…is my angel’s
Pumping pus !
How do you think my girl got gonorrhea?
What is the proper way to diagnose?
Was it that bathroom at the pizzeria?
That triggered-the-oozin’! The pip-o'-the drip! The dose!
What if it’s an “Immaculate Infection”?
Maybe her lower-half should be enshrined
And, then there would be a race
To visit her holy place
She’d have a gift to share with all mankind
So…
Now, I know how my girl got gonorrhea
And, it’s released a big load…from my mind…
IB
Thank God...I'm so relieved...
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Place Your Vote |
Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 39 | 39 | 39 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Are you gonna get some fives.......YES!!!!
Yeah, 5's for this superb writing. Maybe you could get a Mother Superior and some nuns to sing this version.
Pumping pus. Eeewww, ha ha ha, eeewwww.
This one needs to be recorded.
This one needs to be recorded.
I've really "gon" for this, especially "immaculate infection."
catchy in every sense of the word
Ahhh, Lord ~IB~ forever the true Gent ! ! This did make me a bit queasy, though, Sir . . .
Absolutely fantastic - JB's already mentioned the "immaculate infection", but that made me SOCL (sits on chair, laughing - there's no space to ROF, here)
just like I gave this 5-5-5 and thunderous applause, she got some clap from me. I admit it..
Excellent from start to finish
Clearly (mother)superior! What's next... "Climax Every Mountain"?
brilliant IB! - the title grabbed me, but the execution and humour were first-class as always - fave bits: the pious tone of the wording, "semi-nude", the chevy rhymes, and the pacing, but the idea of you watching Roman Holiday so many times togther that you're able to detect the slightest of variances in her behaviour during, was the highlight - 555
Fives for the title alone, and the switch that it's usually the GUY who has to explain this, toilet seat and all. ... Still not sure whether Chevy/levee was homage or plagiarism (Phil A, are you not a bug on that anymore? lol), but "her holy place" and the ending/outtro made this tribute to what is usually a "penis-illin'" disease a masterpiece-of-no-a*s. 555+++
also enjoyed the subtle parody of certain myths and lore, of which I've got one cooking, but saving for the right "season". GMTA.
also enjoyed the subtle parody of certain myths and lore, of which I've got one cooking, but saving for the right "season". GMTA.
Thanks all. This has been the best response I have recieved in a while and I appreciate it.
I love casting the ordinary guy in an extraordinary situation and in the end...he's OK with it...That's been my life !
I love casting the ordinary guy in an extraordinary situation and in the end...he's OK with it...That's been my life !
Awesomeness! Made me laugh my ass off!
I was almost positive that I commented on this one... I must have just voted and thought that I left a comment. This was great I too am a fan of "Immaculate Infection" as well as your subs for "flibbertijibbet" because that's a tough word to sub. This was great... Not sure if it's really culture? Nor lifestyle... More about sex than anything but I was still a fan.
(Ages) Oh, man, this was hilarious, and for much of it I was singing along! Great laughs! I'm not sure I understand the ending, unless "Denial isn't just a river in Egypt!" However, is this really a lifestyle story? I suppose two people trying to be virginal is a kind of lifestyle. 5-5-5, and get thee to a gonorrhee!
(Ages2) This was kinda stretching it for a lifestyle parody, but was still pretty good (I'm not really one fore sex parodies, and I've never seen Sound Of Music).
Have to agree with the general consensus on it's stretching for lifestyle (though sex certainly can be, so can culture) but this was still hilarious. The pacing was so perfect, and easy to follow--it's almost untouchable
AGES...I am surprised by the lack of support in the "fits the topic" arena. I guess I kind of saw it as a play on the abstinence...which our protagonist THINKS they are practicing...as he's desperate to find any explanation for her...condition...other than the most obvious explanation. AND...with that thought...abstinence is definitely a lifestyle choice. AND...I think this is hilarious, IB. Nice work.
I'm glad I caught this one, you had me clapping for more. I like the Denial line as well. Maybe a tractor? :) I thought you took the lifestyles topic literally (go to lifestyles.com, and this is an absolutely perfect fit for the subject). If that was your intent,..brilliant!
Awesome, IB. A stretch as a lifestyle, but questioning restaurants that you attend and discussing sex habits comes close. Great.
Nuns singing about "immaculate infection"? Awesome. Title sub is freakin' brilliant, and the whole thing was unflinchingly witty.
SOTM - Don't know how I missed this on the first go-round...Superb title switch and parody...555!!!!!
SOTM - IB, at the top of his game! Verry catchy(literally...)
I think the chances of an immaculate infection are slight to nun...
Immaculate Infection has to be the phrase of the year if this song alone doesn't win for song of the year. This was a crazy one Boy!
(SOTM) As I said above, I'm not really into sex parodies, so this one didn't click with me, even though it didn't have to fit in with a certain topic this time around. Oh well.
This would be great even without the "Immaculate Infection" line. With it, it's simply awesome. It's too bad I'm completely put off by sex-related parodies, or I would totally be voting for it. Heh heh.
(SOTM) My jaw hasn't come back up into my face since last time I read it yet. . .you know what I think.
Thanks all for the comments and support.
I need to clear-up one point from the "Ages" comp.
Abstinence IS a lifestyle.
Gonorrhea IS a culture
I need to clear-up one point from the "Ages" comp.
Abstinence IS a lifestyle.
Gonorrhea IS a culture
SOTM...you already know how much I love this, IB...it's perfection...=)
Still great, your immaculate infection is.
Your wit is contagious!
CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!
CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!
Kenny Chesney parody on YouTube of 'Out Last Night' by Philip Natale is really funny.
(SOTY) Such a great year for parody it seems, and I was forced to miss a lot of it. Loved this one too...it's a trickster with the varied tempos and "filbertigibbets".
(SOTY) Very "Catchy" entry!
SOTY...this is definitely in my top 10, IB...probably top 5. It's hilarious, it's perfectly paced...it's what parody is supposed to be. Love it!
Horribly tragically hilarious! 555
I just caught a pun on my original comment (almost untouchable . . . ewwww) but still see above
She wasn't as chaste as she claimed!
Hilarious! :))
Grossly superb !
Stupendous, man! ; ) I noticed the term "Chevy by the levee". Have you heard "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" by Bachman-Turner Overdrive (BTO)? They mention "she take me to her doctor / and he give me the cure / he says any loving is good loving..." . Nonetheless your parody has more icky detail. I'm glad I wasn't eating when I read this.
I found this while doing research for the musical my High School is doing this fall. I'm playing Max. Why would anyone write this ?
Brilliant. Hilarious. Original. Memorable. The best parody I ever have read. I read it again with the original song playing quietly in the background, and it's even better that way.
I'd like to thank DoctorDoctor for his comment above, leading me back to this one - it is a stupendously good parody, well worth a read (or a re-read if you last visited this page in 2009)
As a relative newcomer, Doctor Doctor alerted me too. He wasn't exaggerating. This is a beauty - One of the very best. I hope your talent is infectious, Invisible Boy. Can I get it too?
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