Oh Freud, Herr, fix, please, my ego!
Your praises I am singin', and I ain't stintin'.
I'm a Freud-follower.

Freud, Herr Dok, got in the dumps 'n'
Talkin' will allay my funk.
Weird daydreams in foyer, drunk 'n'
Hissin' at folks, like a monk-
ey, then feel bad; I turn weeper.
What's my mood been? Rather vile.
I'm no mensch, actin' like Cheetah;
Chimplike, I'll chatter a while.

My id is grossly unsprung 'n'
You, friend Freud, will hear me whine.
I'm not fixated on dung 'n'
I was toilet trained on time.
I've been cursin' like a sailor. . .
Use words rhymed with "muck" and "runt."
You tell me such words are staler
Than bromides, but they're sure blunt.

Freud, your thinking's always Western
And you probe human nature.
You said "Anatomy's destin-
y." You ask, "Are thoughts impure?
Are you kissin', are you rapin'
In your dreams sis, mom, or pop?"
I feel like a Hairy Ape in
Gene's* id-ridden agitprop.

When I tell you I'm a vegan,
It is just my diet plan,
Not a proxy for a man
When bananas I am seekin'.

Ask me if I thrill to Onan--
I admit I've grabbed and felt
Brazenly below the belt
When I had a fatter bone 'n'
I was once my millions ownin'--
I was swimmin' in the gelt;
You have slimmed my money belt.
I get your bill and I'm moanin'!