this ole spouse...no longer thrillin'
this ole spouse...a lousy wife
this ole spouse...don't give me comfort
she's the worst thing in my life
this ole spouse...is gettin' fatter
this ole spouse...is gettin' stout
would you please excuse my starkness
but i'm gonna boot her out

(CHORUS)
ain't a-gonna need this spouse no longer
ain't a-gonna need this spouse no more
ain't got time to look at wrinkles
ain't got time to go to war
ain't got time for accusations
when i know i'm not to blame
ain't a-gonna need this spouse no longer
i'm a-gettin' ready to ditch this dame

this ole spouse..is a-gettin' shaky
this ole spouse...is a-gettin' old
this ole spouse...is such a pain
this ole spouse...just treats me cold
bony knees are on this filly
and her face is rather plain
and you oughta hear her shriekin'
when i go to poker games

CHORUS

this ole spouse...was a big ol' blunder
this ole spouse...never acted warm
this ole spouse...has got the trembles
liver spots all down her arms
this ole spouse...is a-gettin' feeble
this ole spouse...is a-feelin' faint
i'm just fine..she's tuckered out
and she's a-gettin' heavy...and me ?...i ain't

CHORUS

this ole spouse...sure snores while sleepin'
its so loud...you can't believe
you can hear her 'round the whole place
that has always been my peeve
but those awful days are over
ain't gonna room with her no more
i'm gonna rent a little u-haul truck
and i'll kick her out the door

CHORUS