We seek eternal youth
But finally at some stage
We learn the ugly truth;
The ravages of age
Will take their toll on you,
No matter what you do.
When you're an oldie.
(You're an oldie, you're an oldie)

You're saying things that you
Once swore you'd never say.
"I was your age once too",
"By Cracky, in the day..."
It hits you like a bomb,
You sound just like your Mom.
You're now an oldie.

For you never knew how fast old age creeps up.
Thought it couldn't happen to you.
But to your dismay
'Bout nearly every day
You see a stark reminder or two.

You can recall events
That happened long ago.
But how today was spent
You surely do not know.
Your short term memory
Is nearly shot, you see.
Cuz you're an oldie.
(You're an oldie, you're an oldie)

You make a routine trip,
You're cruising in your car.
And have a mental slip;
Can't 'member where you are.
Or where you're headed to.
What's happening to you?
You're now an oldie.

For you never knew how fast old age creeps up.
Thought it couldn't happen to you.
But to your dismay
'Bout nearly every day
You see a stark reminder or two.

You're a bit shorter now
Than you were yesteryear
Hair on your head somehow
Migrated to your ears
Kids play connect the dots
With all your liver spots.
When you're an oldie.
(You're an oldie, you're an oldie)

Those sphincters once so tight
Eventually get weak
Get up three times a night
Having to take a leak.
And often when you sneeze
You tend to cut the cheese.
Cuz you're an oldie.
(You're an oldie, you're an oldie)