Hi Patrick, long time no see. Followed your link & watched the ad. Pissed myself laughing at the “stink level” graph. Comes across like a sketch from a comedy show. Didn’t think you use the term ‘bum’ on your side of the pond. Did you get that one from reading UK entries?

Patrick, i am glad you gave a link to the advertisement, for context. I had a watch and a couple of observations come to mind: (1) 'Stink level = 0/10'. Really! That's a big claim. (2) She states: "I am not a mathematician". More obviously, she also ain't no brain surgeon. Now I have dispensed with my value judgement for today, onto the parody: As your parody ending suggests, I might have been prepared to overlook her spurious claims of 0/10 if she had been prepared to put her money where her mouth was. Or her camera where her finger was. 0 for her, but 555 for you.

And to follow up on Andy's comment, props to you for using bum* and not the irritatingly over-used 'butt'. That's the end of a cigarette, FFS. ;) * = tell it like it is!

I remember a character on Saturday Night Live who used an English accent. Not sure if he was English or just putting it on. He referred to certain characters as "bum lookers", meaning that's what they liked to look at. The lady in the ad used the term "butt". But(?) the original song lyrics are "Buffalo Gals, won't you "come" out tonight.?" "Bum" rhymes with "come". Tried to keep some of the original phonetics. By the way, isn't the unsmoked end of a cigarette in the UK a "fag"? Maybe everyone in the press has gotten the Fred Phelps/Westboro Baptist Church message all wrong. "God Hates Fags". Perhaps they just means the Almighty is upset that smokers are dropping their filter tips on the sidewalk. It's simply a protest against littering. "Bum" can also mean a disheveled and obnoxious person. It can also mean a failed system, such as a bum deal, a bum car, or a bum ticker (heart failure). Are those uses common in UK? By the way, based on another series of oft-repeated ads, I'd like to know if there are TV adverts in the UK for "wounded warriors", that is charity appeals for soldiers wounded in Iraq and Afghanistan or other military training mishaps. These are almost hourly here.

The whole cig is a fag & the stubbed out bit is a fag butt. Your bum for a vagrant would be a tramp over here. Yes to bum deal & no to bum car or ticker. Someone of my age would say a dodgy ticker but that could also just be regional to me.
Pip would probably be the same in Oz except maybe dodgy ticker. Pip, care to elaborate?
I don't think we get the soldier ads over here. I haven't seen any but I don't watch much mainstream telly.

Confirmed Andy - a whole cigarette is a fag. The stubbed out parts get referred to simply as butts. We use dodgy ticker as well. No soldier ads over here either. Bum cars are universally (in Aus) referred to as 'lemons'.

Lemons here too

Lemon is common term in US for a poorly working car. Might be used for other machinery as well. When I first heard about the French Citroen car, I thought the word looked like "citron" or "lemon". Never sold in large numbers here. Bum connotes a worthless or lazy individual. Tramp has a more romantic notion of someone who travels by hopping freight trains and will do odd jobs for a meal or handout. I learned that fag means the whole cigarette, and not just the butt. Dodgy is not as commonly used here, but most people would understand it. Sometimes "sketchy" would refer to a neighborhood perceived to be unsafe, but not likely a bodily organ. By the way, is "booty" common in UK? I hear it more from Black people. When used by White people, it can take on a humorous aspect as well. Are the antics of the late Fred Phelps and the Westboro Church known in UK? I heard he was barred from entering the country. I met him personally on several occasions, have driven past the church building in Topeka, and talked to the protestors in the past. Harmless kooks. Americans have a great deal of sentiment for soldiers. Wounded Warriors is a charity that helps soldiers who have been injured in the service. There are also charitable appeals for the hungry, the homeless, children in Africa, and others. The Veterans Administration is sometimes perceived as bureaucratic and insensitive in attending to the needs of injured troops and thus, private charity gets involved. Perhaps these matters are attended to differently in other nations. This chain of comments has been most enlightening.

Heard of "sketchy" & "booty" from USA but we don't use them over here (at least not that I've ever heard). Heard of Phelps but can't remember how or why. We get all the other charitable appeals here. We hear a lot about homeless vets living on the street but they seem to be at the back of the queue for being housed. Conversely, illegal migrants hop straight off a people smuggler's boat & get housed in a 4star hotel with all food & bills paid. Some of them even have the cheek to moan to the newspapers that the accommodation isn't good enough. Over 40,000 so far this year have come across on illegal boats. They get met at sea by the lifeguards & ferried to shore. Politicians from all the major parties at the moment seem to be useless. Tories keep coming up with a plan to slow the flow but are immediately branded racist or this-ist or that-ist by the do-gooders so nothing ever gets done about it. Last figure I saw was the UK taxpayers are forking out £6.8 million per day on this issue alone. Strange world we live in!

Around here, they don't even have to use a boat. Just walk across. I read that the Canadians will not allow asylum seekers to cross the border at a controlled checkpoint. But there are unguarded spots where they can walk across a drainage ditch and go to a shopping mall and call customs. Then all the usual benefits apply. Look up Darby Line, Vermont/Stanstead, Quebec. Sounds like a super paranoid spot for US jackboots. Until 9/11 the locals could cross a street, visit friends, go hiking in the woods. Now it's all surveillance cameras and detention, and general harassment. Fred Phelps was a Baptist preacher from Topeka, Kansas. He and his family became famous for protesting against America's acceptance of homosexuality. He blamed it for hurricanes and forest fires. Fred died a few years ago (and I wrote a few parodies about him). The family pickets public events featuring gay performers, and the funerals of soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. (God Loves IED's) (Improvised Explosive Devices). Their most famous sign is God Hates Fags, which is also the name of their website. By the way, they have a large number of recorded parodies on their site. "God Hates America" seems to be their most used theme.