Brand new date!
Brand new date, and his name is Jake.
But at first you are kind of a hesitater
And a little rattled.
An investigator
Of this lifestyle you're a bit loath to become
Without having quite a lot of rum.
He wants to tie you up with a rope,
Asks you to bend and pick up the soap.

Brokebackhomo, and his hand's sweeping down the domain
Of your wavin' meat, and like a teat
Of a cow he pulls--no pain, mo' gain!
Brokebackhomo, he is better than a lamb, this guy.
Then a bony stalk's above your socks
Makin' lazy circles on your thigh.

You know what belongs in his hand;
As it stands, you know the post is manned.
Not strictly gay,
Because you swing both ways.
Judges are sayin',
"Ain't gonna give Brokebackhomos
Boasting kudo today."

Brokebackhomos--gonna sweep in the Oscar domain,
You heard on the street: "it can't be beat."
Big surprise--instead "Crash" claimed the fame.
Brokebackhomos is a flick about two smitten guys,
With no "Drop your c*cks and grabs your socks,"
As in "Full Metal. . ." which missed the prize.

They never did give one to Stan,
Fellini, Scorcese, or Altman,
Sid, Hitch--no claim.
Robert is aptly named;
Because he's grayin',
They gave him an old-man kudo.
Jokes Jon told were OK.