My grandfather's cock
Was too large for the coop
But it ruled from the roost, beak and claw
It ate like three birds and could really make poop
And it looked like a turkey in straw
Oh, it crowed every morn like a car alarm horn
And we thought we were used to the din
When I chopped neck
Never to crow again
All of us slept in

Ninety weeks without slumbering
Screech, squawk, screech, squawk
Each morning we're lumbering
Screech, squawk, screech, squawk
I chopped neck
Never to crow again
And we all slept in

I'm watching that plucked birdie
Swing to and fro
Many meals would be made from this cock
From an eggling to a chickie the bird seemed to know
That his head would be soon on the block
So it got in its licks while us ignorant hicks
Couldn't figure out how to eat crow
Once we chopped neck
Never to yelp again
No more morning woe

Ninety weeks without slumbering
Screech, squawk, screech, squawk
Each morning we're lumbering
Screech, squawk, screech, squawk
I chopped neck
Never to crow again
No more morning woe

My grandfather said
That of those he could eat
Not a chicken so tasty he found
For it wasted his life and it kept up his wife
And to shut that loud beak and it's sound
It brought tears to his eye
As he munched on a thigh
And he licked up the gravy beside
Was that chopped neck
Never to crow again
When that rooster died

Ninety weeks without slumbering
Screech, squawk, screech, squawk
Each morning we're lumbering
Screech, squawk, screech, squawk
I chopped neck
Never to crow again
When that rooster died

That cock got revenge
In the dead of the night
As the pain in the gut made us sick
As we all hit the toilet
And grabbed for the tums
And we called our grandfather a dick
Though it seems so absurd
He did not stuff the bird
He found it not empty inside
So we mopped floors
Cleaning up all the yuck
As the old man died