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Song Parodies -> "James Comey Blues"
Original Song Title:
"Folsom Prison Blues"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Johnny Cash
Parody Song Title:
"James Comey Blues"
Parody Written by:
Onslaught
The Lyrics
I never saw it coming
It caught me by surprise
Delivered over chyron
I can’t believe my eyes
Well I guess I’ll just get crackin’, dust off my resume’
Cause I just found out I’m fired, while landing in L.A.
When I get back to D.C.
Not gonna’ have much time
For joking with fellas
Investigatin’ crime
I gotta’ clear my desk out
And cram it in a box
Cause they said that in ten minutes
They’re gonna’ change the locks
(Pickin’)
I blame the Clintons mostly
For the pickle that I’m in
I sit around in socks and drawers
Just swillin’ cheap-ass gin
But I never saw it comin’
Cause I’m “untouchable” (see what I did there?)
If that stupid bitch had won it
Then I’d still have my pull
(Grinnin’)
Well, if I hadn’t been so foolish
Hadn’t been so asinine
You bet your sweet patootie I’d have toed the comp’ny line
Instead there’s unemployment to keep the wolves away
And a pension, and stock options... I guess I’ll be Okay.
It caught me by surprise
Delivered over chyron
I can’t believe my eyes
Well I guess I’ll just get crackin’, dust off my resume’
Cause I just found out I’m fired, while landing in L.A.
When I get back to D.C.
Not gonna’ have much time
For joking with fellas
Investigatin’ crime
I gotta’ clear my desk out
And cram it in a box
Cause they said that in ten minutes
They’re gonna’ change the locks
(Pickin’)
I blame the Clintons mostly
For the pickle that I’m in
I sit around in socks and drawers
Just swillin’ cheap-ass gin
But I never saw it comin’
Cause I’m “untouchable” (see what I did there?)
If that stupid bitch had won it
Then I’d still have my pull
(Grinnin’)
Well, if I hadn’t been so foolish
Hadn’t been so asinine
You bet your sweet patootie I’d have toed the comp’ny line
Instead there’s unemployment to keep the wolves away
And a pension, and stock options... I guess I’ll be Okay.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
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| 1 | 8 | 8 | 8 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 6 | 6 | 6 |
User Comments
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My thoughts exactly- 555!
It's not the Clintons who set off Comey's firing. Trump would have given him the Medal of Freedom, if he could, for the Clinton bungling. Instead he set up the deputy Attorney General as fall guy. Comey was just too energetic investigating Trump ties with Russia, and Donald panicked. Meanwhile, Russian photographers are crawling all over the Oval Office, maybe planting bugs. Total chaos and incompetence. Didn't you see the crap coming last November?
You over analyze a joke. Pull the stick out and just relax.
"Pull the stick out." "Relax." That's exactly what THEY want me to do.
Who is this "They" you refer to?
Who are THEY? The Evil Powers That Be. The Enemy, whose identity is obvious. The Inscrutable Foe. Those Who Seek Our Demise. Where are THEY? Everywhere, if not in person, then by way of diabolical gadgets. Remember: A slip of the lip can sink a ship; the walls have ears. Now we both know that walls don't have actual ears. No, what we are dealing with is a metaphor. The metaphor is the most potent weapon in THEIR toolbox. Do they really have a toolbox? No, that's another metaphor. Do you see now how insidious the threat from THEM is? And what do we have as countermeasures? Puny pseudonyms like "Onslaught." Mr. President, we must not allow a metaphor gap!
If you don't know just say so.
Oh, I know it well. Here it is. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0X0ZYbnHxA
I don't follow links provided by unstable mentalities, you understand, viruses and the like. If you ever find who this "they" are you be sure to let me know. Okay?
Onslaught doesn't want to to hear or know the truth.
What's even worse, Voter, is that the clueless Onslaught wrote that I was overanalyzing a joke.
Talking to yourself doesn't recommend your credibility or state of mind
Responding to a sober statement with the snarky "pull the stick out" doesn't speak well of your judgment and invites the tweaking you received, but hadn't the wit to comprehend. "They" say that people like you are forever operating inside the box.
We cant really say for sure whether Onslaught failed to comprehend John Litel's wit or not -- because there was no wit to comprehend. So it wasn't a fair test
Onslaught thinks he's a genius. Here, analyze three ones! It's a fair rating given his highly overrated opinion of himself and his topic of choice. John Litel pegged him correctly.
I was wondering what it would take to coax you wood ticks out from under your rock. I thank you for your support.
Onslaught is a gutless turd
Thanks for your support.
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