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Song Parodies -> "The Ballad of Britney Spears"
Original Song Title:
"The Battle of New Orleans"
Original Performer:
Jimmie Driftwood / Johnny Horton
Parody Song Title:
"The Ballad of Britney Spears"
Parody Written by:
The Comedian
The Lyrics
At 18:14 we took a little nip
A tub o' Colonel Sanders' brown an' fried-up chicken strip
We couldn't stay much later at the Burbank K.F.C.
'Cause we're paparazzi and we're gonna corner poor Brit-ney!
We fired our bulbs and the Britney kept a-comin'
She wasn't quite as pretty as she was on video
We fired once more and she began a-runnin'
Her bodyguards a-hittin' everybody in the nose
We looked down the sidewalk and we see'd the Britney come
And there must have been a hundred bodyguards around her bum
They looked so tough
in their slick Armani™ suits
We scrummed in our scrimmage and we angled for our shoots
We fired our bulbs and the Britney kept a-comin'
She wasn't quite as pretty as she was awhile ago
We fired once more and she began a-runnin'
Her bodyguards a-whippin' everyone from head to toe
Old Dikkweed said we could take 'er by surprise
If we didn't click our cam'ras 'til we looked 'er in the eye
We held our fire
'til we see'd her face up-close
And we baited 'er an' waited 'til the face she made was... GROSS!
We fired our bulbs and the Britney kept a-comin'
Hair wasn't quite as plenty after shavin' she did go
We fired once more and she began a-runnin'
Her bodyguards a-kickin' everybody's anal hole
Yeah, she ran through the Starbucks,
and she ran through McDonalds,
and she ran through the bushes where a walkin' dog'll go!
She ran so fast that her mounds couldn't catch up!
Fearin' she's appearin' in a YouTube™ video!
We fired our Canons™ 'til the batteries were dead
So we grabbed a sidewalk artist and we bought him off instead
We filled his hand with dollar bills and picked him off the ground
And he rode upon our shoulders sketching as we chased her down
We fired our bulbs and the Britney kept a-comin'
She wasn't wearin' panties an' she buzzed 'er fuzz below
We fired once more and she began a-runnin'
Her bodyguards a-flippin' everybody they could throw
Yeah, she ran through the Starbucks,
and she ran through McDonalds,
and she ran through the B.K. for a Whopper™ on the go!
She ran so fast that her mounds couldn't catch up!
(And) Now it's all appearin' in a YouTube™ video!
A tub o' Colonel Sanders' brown an' fried-up chicken strip
We couldn't stay much later at the Burbank K.F.C.
'Cause we're paparazzi and we're gonna corner poor Brit-ney!
We fired our bulbs and the Britney kept a-comin'
She wasn't quite as pretty as she was on video
We fired once more and she began a-runnin'
Her bodyguards a-hittin' everybody in the nose
We looked down the sidewalk and we see'd the Britney come
And there must have been a hundred bodyguards around her bum
They looked so tough
in their slick Armani™ suits
We scrummed in our scrimmage and we angled for our shoots
We fired our bulbs and the Britney kept a-comin'
She wasn't quite as pretty as she was awhile ago
We fired once more and she began a-runnin'
Her bodyguards a-whippin' everyone from head to toe
Old Dikkweed said we could take 'er by surprise
If we didn't click our cam'ras 'til we looked 'er in the eye
We held our fire
'til we see'd her face up-close
And we baited 'er an' waited 'til the face she made was... GROSS!
We fired our bulbs and the Britney kept a-comin'
Hair wasn't quite as plenty after shavin' she did go
We fired once more and she began a-runnin'
Her bodyguards a-kickin' everybody's anal hole
Yeah, she ran through the Starbucks,
and she ran through McDonalds,
and she ran through the bushes where a walkin' dog'll go!
She ran so fast that her mounds couldn't catch up!
Fearin' she's appearin' in a YouTube™ video!
We fired our Canons™ 'til the batteries were dead
So we grabbed a sidewalk artist and we bought him off instead
We filled his hand with dollar bills and picked him off the ground
And he rode upon our shoulders sketching as we chased her down
We fired our bulbs and the Britney kept a-comin'
She wasn't wearin' panties an' she buzzed 'er fuzz below
We fired once more and she began a-runnin'
Her bodyguards a-flippin' everybody they could throw
Yeah, she ran through the Starbucks,
and she ran through McDonalds,
and she ran through the B.K. for a Whopper™ on the go!
She ran so fast that her mounds couldn't catch up!
(And) Now it's all appearin' in a YouTube™ video!
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
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| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 22 | 22 | 22 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Extremely clever, especially the Canon's sub..highly humorous, and overall just damned fine parody writing!
One of my fave songs growing up; one of my fave parody subjects; one of my fave parody writers....this is just plain hilarious, Johnny, one of your best IMO.
where did i start ?...this was so freakin' hilarious, i had to read it in sections and compose myself before moving on...my favorite of the day...and there were some strong contenders today
HILARIOUS! 5S
A strong return, JD. What a litany of pop and gustatory trash.
Was hoping more for Britney antics, but the paparazzi angle was interesting.
Super. So good I'm gonna just shelve the "Hit Me WIth Your Best Shot" /"Britney's a Depressed Sot" Pat Benatar thing I was considering.
555 for this ~uberMacho~ Parody, Sir!! Is it OK to print out hardcopies of these < amIright > parodies?? I'd like to give this one to my brother in Law, as he despises her so.
Leave Britney Alone!
Holy freakin' frijoles....this is GENIUS! So great to have you submitting again, JD...TMOLTM (The O is for outstanding). This needs to be recorded. 555+++
the buzz around Latest Comments about this one was pretty awesome, JD, but not as awesome as the parody - I miss your inspired syllable subs in stuff like this, and the perfection of lines like "She wasn't quite as pretty as she was on video" - and what a gem of an idea - 555
Wow, what a great response for one of my silliest parodies ever! Thank you, AFW, Dee Range, alvin, Jack Wilson, John Barry, Meriadoc, Stan Hall, littleCupCakes, Pasty Emo Kid, Kristof Robertson, and stuart mcarthur!
This isn't the start of a sudden new flurry of parodies - this B.S. (that stands for "Britney Spears", of course) parody just kind of came to me yesterday, and I had to GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!!! ;-D
This isn't the start of a sudden new flurry of parodies - this B.S. (that stands for "Britney Spears", of course) parody just kind of came to me yesterday, and I had to GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!!! ;-D
Face it Johnny D, silly parodies are GENIUS! ;-) I haven't been able to check out many parodies in the last two years but I am glad I didn't miss this one! 555
Thanks, Tim!
Lemme guess: You wrote an entire parody around the words, "We fired our Canons... " (I tried that once: "Lion King's Crown Is For Ya" around "kill the beast"/"wildebeest.") But as Britney parodies go, this one spears more than most.
"Buzzed her fuzz below" cracked me up!
This might be a silly parody, but I think it depicts stuff that actually happened (or could have happened), just arranged in a very humorous context. Excellent stuff, JD.
I just love this parody! Perhaps it is my favorite on the entire site! Brave, Sir !! This is just sooooo great !
Thank you, Michael, PMS, John Jenkins, and littleCupCakes!
555 & ROFL!!!!
Thanks, Gel !!
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