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Song Parodies -> "Medieval (I'm Woke Unlike You)"

Original Song Title:

"El Scorcho"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Weezer

Parody Song Title:

"Medieval (I'm Woke Unlike You)"

Parody Written by:

Ethan Hall

The Lyrics

Makes fun of woke culture, where a guy criticizes a 6th grade class's Medieval Europe unit to the extreme. *This line came from the satirical blog Stuff White People Like. **Look it up. It's a type of fallacy, like technical jargon is. *** An American Indian tribe located around Washington.
Medieval!
Oh my heavens!

Look at these dresses and black girls
European style's uncool
But the redhead's dead. She's fed to the wolves
They ain't young wolves, baby
Those guys who's white, who's male, who's thinner too
I'll cancel hitherto Medieval Dinner, too
Like I cancelled Egypt Days and Greek Plays
Go live on the streets! Don't raise the Cain!

I'm woke unlike you, so please
Get out, I see racism
When you think it's good to dress
Them up like Disney would

I asked you so nicely to stop and ponder
You yelled you'd rather see me dead (You little hick!)
You little hick!
So I ransacked your room and burnt your racist things:
Banksy, hummus, Facebook, scarves, and an 80s night *
But then you burst in
You forgot 'bout my switchblade. Medics won't come, giving you aid

You just teach 6th grade! Your students
Will be fine without you
When they live online, they'll find
You're racist, sexist scum

I'm Euro-skeptic, so I'm Afrocentric
I'm never Eurocentric, so that's why you're stabbed in the heart
You're homophobic, so you're agoraphobic
You're anaerobic
Unless you change your fat heart
Misogynistic! You think I use too much pooh-pooh **
You think I use technical jargon too
You think I need force to say, "You should be screwed!"

I wish you could say that you're sorry 'fore dying
So we'd clean the Medieval Feast
Yet it's contaminated with yeast
But it's just the product of all your great-grandpapas
They enslaved and they whipped Willapas ***! I'm so stricken. Should be African
I'll burn all these dresses and I'll burn all this chicken

I'm woke unlike you! You suck
You call my language slander
For the greater good, I'll crucify
That filth; white trash

I'm woke unlike you
When they live online
For the greater good
Europe's vile
I think I should run this school
And whites should bow to me!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 23

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   22
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