Three, two, one, and bake!

Stick it in the oven! Nuh uh, nuh uh!
We're not making muffins! Nuh uh, nuh uh!
Why're you such a sloven? Nuh uh, nuh uh!
Now Gordon Ramsey yells, "It's effing dry for a cream pie!"

Cinco, cuatro, tres, dos, and uno, uno - ding!

You once were amateur, you thought your cuisine was good
But your Victorian sponge last year pissed off Hollywood
You kept being booted out, and now you've got no dough
Then you're in talks with Fox, and you're paid to do a show!

You found your place with Richard Blais
You're cooking on the bottom level, burning bread
Gotta level up, so don't mess up
On my deathbed, on my deathbed
So if you don't race, throw food at Gordon's face
At least he will taste it when the guac's all o'er his head
You're on Next Level Chef, but
Hey! They give a second chance!

Stick it in the fryer! Nuh uh, nuh uh!
That's a funeral pyre! Nuh uh, nuh uh!
We don't have food dryers! Nuh uh, nuh uh!
Now Nyesha wants to scream, "We never fried all this dark rye!"

You beat out Matt Groark, and Pilar Omega too
Fox is super woke and broke, so they keep you on the crew
You stare down Tucker Ricchio, 'cause you never worked at all
All your confidence paid off, so here's to having -

They say you'll bake a Grimace Shake
In thirty minutes, you'll be dousing it with lead
Didn't level up, and where's your cup
Of baking spread, of baking spread?
Decades-old Corn Flakes that's mixed with ice-cold steak
Perhaps all this makes the larynx blow off Gordon's head
You're on Next Level Chef, yet
Hey! They'll give a second chance!

Before Mickey D's can sue, yeah, they finally judge
Your culinary crime. Can't tell if it's sludge or fudge
At first it makes them feel sick, and soon they pass gas
But they don't throw up, so they kick your lily -

Re-press these paninis! Nuh uh, nuh uh!
Don't stir those martinis! Nuh uh, nuh uh!
Where are my bikinis?! Nuh uh, nuh uh!
Doce, once, diez, nueve, ocho, ocho - ding!

So don't debate your so-so plates
Your dreams don't match up with this gruel and charred cornbread
Never leveled up! You don't look up
To trends that shred, to trends that shred
Make delicious cakes, or make a can of mace
The middle ground never had a place in Gordon's head
You're on Next Level Chef, but
You need a baking ref, so
You're totally stone-deaf, so
Hey! There is no second chance!