FRED: You guys, this is all Umbridge's fault.
MALFOY: Shut up, Weasley!
GEORGE: Umbridge is the one who banned us from playing Quidditch, nearley expelled Harry, and got Dumbledore arrested. And all because she's a big, fat, stupid
MALFOY: Don't say it, Weasley!
TWINS: [breaking into song]
Well
MALFOY: Don't do it, Weasley!
TWINS: [breaking into song]
Well
MALFOY: I'm warning you!
TWINS: Okay, okay.
MALFOY: I'm getting pretty sick of him calling our new headmaster a b
TWINS: [erupting into song]

Well, Umbridge is a b**ch
She's a big fat b**ch
She's the biggest b**ch in the whole wide world
She's a stupid b**ch
If there ever was a b**ch
She's a b**ch to all the boys and girls

MALFOY: Shut your f**king mouth, Weasley!

TWINS:
On Mondays she's a b**ch
On Tuesdays she's a b**ch
On Wednesdays and Saturdays she's a b**ch
Then on Sunday (just to be different)
She's a super king Kameyameya b**ch!

TWINS: C'mon! You all know the words!

ALL GRYFFINDORS:
Have you ever met Professor Umbridge?
She's the biggest b**ch in the whole wide world
She's a mean old b**ch and she has stupid hair
She's a b**ch b**ch b**ch b**ch b**ch b**ch b**ch
B**ch b**ch b**ch b**ch b**ch b**ch b**ch b**ch
She's a stupid b**ch!
Umbridge is a b**ch, and she's just a dirty b**ch

FRED: Talk to wizards around the world, it might go a little bit something like this. [song is sung in Bulgarian, giant, mermish, and Parseltongue]

ALL GRYFFINDORS:
Have you ever met Professor Umbridge?
She's the biggest b**ch in the whole wide world
She's a mean old b**ch and she has stupid hair
She's a b**ch b**ch b**ch b**ch b**ch b**ch b**ch
B**ch b**ch b**ch b**ch b**ch b**ch b**ch b**ch
She's a stupid b**ch!
Umbridge is a b**ch, and she's just a dirty b**ch
I really mean it
Professor Umbridge
She's a big fat f**king
Big old fat f**king b**ch, Umbridge, yeah
Cha!

GEORGE: [noticing aghast looks on children's faces] What? [turning around and sees Umbridge] Oh, f**k!