We used to think video games were dumb,
And a good series would never ever come.
But thanks to Tidus and his funny ways,
We have some way to waste away our days.

If he will say it, then we can mock it.
If there's humor in it, we'll ridicule it .

Yuna said she could fly.
The way she said it made her sound so high.
There's more than forty hours of game play.
But we like it anyway.
And our eyes are so sore.
We can't look at Tidus any more...
Anima makes us cry,
And Seymour just won't die.
I could go for some pie.

It's freaky when Seymour goes "Heeheehee."
Lulu's dress defies all gravity.
There are some heights that hair should not achieve.
And Auron's arm is cold out of the sleeve.

If Tidus says it, we will laugh at it.
He's not a poet, he kills in one hit.

Rikku's voice is too high.
And Jecht's humor is very dry.
Yu Yevon is so not a god,
Just some freaky spider fraud.
There's no gravity laws.
And Yuna can't speak without a pause...
The short man says don't cry,
We want Tidus to die.
Tell my mom I said hi.

And can Kimahri speak?

He'll never say it, He never says sh!t.
He'll talk just like Hulk can, he's just a smurf man.

Tidus is a jock guy.
And the sales went to the sky.
If I look closely I think I can see,
The future of Final Fantasy.
Man, our fingers are sore,
Random battles can be such a bore...
But the series can't die.
If it does, so will I.
Kuja isn't a guy.

Man, now I'm really hungry...
I want pie!
I need pie!
Give me pie!
Yo, there's some in the fridge.
Yummy pie!