She showed up late last night, some hours past the show
She stumbled through the nightclub door (oh no)
I thought she might be drunk or maybe popping pills
So here we go again, somebody make a call to Kevin

And if you look you’ll see she isn’t wearing any panties
Someone get that girl some drawers
You might be thinkin’ oops, she did it once again and I say
Can you believe that Britney Spears

She stays out late at night carousing like a ho
See her shaking her behind (uh huh)
Wonder how I’d act if I was young and rich
But I don’t have a dollar so I can’t even try

And now she’s dropping lots of wagers at the blackjack table
Saying “hit me one more time” (mo-ore)
And though she’s acting kind of RATtle-brained, well just remember
She was once a MOUSEketeer

Maybe some day she’ll hook up with A.A.
Maybe next time she’ll go buy herself a clue
She’s acting toxic, guess you all can tell
If you’re in the public eye, scandalism sells

A three-day marriage then it’s out on stage to kiss Madonna
As she’s singing Gimme More (mo-ore, she said)
Shaves her head bald, goes to rehab for a day and I say
It’s just the life of Britney Spears