Song Parodies -> "So Many Beings I Love (But I Won't Do Cats)"

Original Song Title:

"I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"So Many Beings I Love (But I Won't Do Cats)"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

For the record...I realize that this is not going to match the full version of the OS. I was writing to the full version at first...but then cut it down to fit with a radio edit/youtube video...for the sake of the contest it was written for. So...if you want to sing along...go with this version:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=788H0K5KrYI

And there are so many beings I love
I long to keep a pet out back
There are so many beings I love
And if I had a barn, I’d keep it packed
But I never could get the way some love Gar-field
Oh no, no way
‘Cause there are so many beings I love,
Oh, seems there are endless beings I love
There are so many beings I love
But I won't do cats
(oh)
No, I won't do cats

Oh, they like to roam so freely
‘N they won’t stay in the yard
They won’t come in when I call, and I stand there screamin’ to no end
Oh, they’ve got coats to admire
But their hearts are made of ice
They’ll gouge out your eyes just ‘cause someone slammed the door; your wounds won’t mend

They’re always so lazy
Take a nap is all they do
They want to enslave me
Make me sift through litter clumped with poo

And they get my stomach a-churnin’
Nothing but disdain they’re earnin’
On top of clean towels their sleepin’, ew!
The laundry’s defeated
And there are so

Many beings I love
Oh I’d take in a ra-BID wolf pack
(ah-ah)
Yeah, there are so many beings I love
I’d for-give a grizzly’s throat attack
(ah-ah)
But I'll never put up with wak-ing up for THEIR two a.m.
Cat fights
Oh, there are so many beings I love
But I won’t do cats
No, I won't do cats

There are so many beings I love
Donkeys, cows, mules I’m dreaming of
But I just won’t do cats!

There are so many beings I love
A goose, a swan, a turtle dove
But I just won't do…

They secretly thrive on violence
And they trip you on the stairs
They hang on your drapes and your bed spread leaving snags, and holes, and tears!

They always lay on you,
When all you wanna do is sleep
Then somehow they con you
And suddenly your pillow’s theirs to keep

While puppies are outside runnin'
Your cat’s in the doorway sunnin'
Reach down for a pet? They’ll hiss at you
In your shoe relieve it
That’s why there are

Many beings I love
Take a vulgar parrot, teach him tact
Yeah, there are so many beings I love
Take a spider whose fangs don’t retract
But I'll never meet a kitty who won’t prompt me to say
“So long, so long!”
‘Cause there are so many beings I love
Oh, I know so many beings I love
There are so many beings I love
But I won't do cats
No, no, no, I won't do...

There are so many beings I love
A kangaroo with boxing gloves
But I just won't do cats!

There are so many beings I love
Five hundred that I’m thinking of
But I just won’t do cats!

There are so many beings I love
Gorillas who just love to shove
But I just won't do cats!

But I'll never stop dreaming of days with no cats in my life
Hoo-ray!
‘Cause there are so many beings I love
But I won't do cats
No, I won't do cats!

(You)
Will you take a pup you found AT the pound?
Even if he’s so lazy he won’t get off of the ground?
With enormous fleas; a steady head cold?

(Me)
I can do that
Oh yeah, now I can do that

(You)
Will you give your tub to THIS trout I just caught?
Gotta make sure he’s got chilly water…or he’ll get too hot!
Will you swim with him so he’s not alone?

(Me)
Now I can do that
Oh yeah, now I can do that

(You)
I’ve got a snake here, he’s an ugly thing
And he’ll wrap himself ‘round you, and he’ll never stop squeezing
‘Til you find you can’t get your breathe on

(Me)
Sure, I’ll do that
Yeah, I’ll do that

(You)
Look at this kitten here, her eyes are so round
And she purrs at a touch, you can’t turn that down!
Give her a minute, and you’ll want her around

(Me)
I won't do that
No, I won't do that

Many beings I love
Oh, there are so many beings I love
Can’t name the many beings I love

But I won’t do cats
No, I won't do cats

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Matthias - March 23, 2009 - Report this comment

Purr-fect parody Arwen! I too LOATHE cats especially the cat I have at home she hisses at me whenever I come near, my dog however is as lovable as ever. I too am a dog person.

Michael Pacholek - March 23, 2009 - Report this comment

Finally, we find one creature on this world whose power can block Arwen's. Hate to break this to you, Princess, but we have four cats. And they have an even bigger sense of entitlement than any faux-royalty I know! On the other hand (paw?), this was a grrrreat parody!

bobpiecheese - April 07, 2009 - Report this comment

(Ages2) Aw, but I like cats! But I'm not gonna let personal animal preferences get in the way of judging a parody on it's own merits! Great job on not running out of subject matter due to the crazy-long OS. 555 for you!

Melanie Lee - April 08, 2009 - Report this comment

(Ages) A lot of work went into this one! Good imagery, some good laughs, especially in the section about tripping you on the stairs, hanging on the drapes, and stealing the pillow! Trouble is, this song just went on too long for my tastes, so it strained my interest. 5-4-4.

Arwen - April 08, 2009 - Report this comment

Oh my gosh. OH. MY. GOSH. I need to stop proofing and submitting stuff at freaking 1:00 in the morning. "On top of clean towels their sleepin’, ew!" THEIR??? I feel like dying. How embarrassing!

Matty...thanks buddy...=) I actually don't mind cats...when they are nice.

Mr. Pacholek...hee hee...it was bound to happen sooner or later. But FOUR cats? Wow. I could deal with maybe two. If they were nice. =)

BPC...don't worry...I like cats, too. If they're nice. (notice a running theme here?) Thanks!

Melanie...if you thought THIS was long, you should have seen it before I slimmed it down from the original...I had to cut out several stanzas to match it to the radio/youtube edit. Thanks!

Below Average Dave - April 08, 2009 - Report this comment

Oh Arwen. . .you think their is bad? Try rhyming words with themselves like I do if I submit too late. . .I didn't even catch that until you pointed it out (I think of things from a recording angle--and from a recording angle it wouldn't sound any differently) I thought you made great use of Meatloaf's inane hard to imagine outro, and my ex-roomate and good friend would absolutely adore you for this parody, I'll have to share it with him (he's allergic to cats) Personally I kinda like cats when they are young and before they get older, but this parody was still funny and described the negative aspects of cats to a T

Invisible Boy - April 08, 2009 - Report this comment

Arwen, the fact that you stayed with the song as long as you did, and kept the gag going, gets props from me. Loved the dialogue.
You're parody looks great posted up they're. I can almost here it sung...

Jeff Reuben - April 08, 2009 - Report this comment

Ages--You make it sound like cats are bad...that's what makes them fun...the challenge! I loved it.

Glen S - April 08, 2009 - Report this comment

I don't. Nice parody. 'Beings' as one syllable was a stretch, but there were some great internal rhyme parallels

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