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Song Parodies -> "An Eight to One Decision"
Original Song Title:
"A Private Conversation"
Original Performer:
Lyle Lovett
Parody Song Title:
"An Eight to One Decision"
Parody Written by:
Patrick McWilliams
The Lyrics
I've always liked this melody since I first heard it coming out of the ceiling in a grocery store. Another addition to my repertoire of Fred Phelps songs.
After months of speculation
The opinions were revealed
A grieving man sought justice
His tormentors had appealed
It was an 8 to 1 decision
Legalese quite dense
A calculated insult
To those who died in our defense
They said "Fred, pick up your bullhorn
And give that sign a wave
Go and find a fallen soldier
Go and dance upon his grave."
Prey! Prey!
There was a family from Topeka
On a mission sent from God
They were skilled at litigation
They were bent upon jihad
It was a public demonstration
Treason on display
The young corporal they were mocking
Was one thousand feet away
They sang "God has cursed our country"
They defiled the US flag
They laughed at every mother's son
Who returned home in a bag
Prey! Prey!
And elected legislators
They were stymied in the lurch
By this vicious band of inbreeds
Masquerading as a church
It was a First Amendment smackdown
It was the "right" to give offense
Only Justice Sam Alito
Showed a lick of common sense
He said, "Brothers, quit your cloister.
Leave your law books on the shelf
Think of how you would be feeling
If it had happened to yourself".
Pray! Pray!
And the moral of this story
Is, I am so sorry to report
If it's justice that you look for
Don't go looking to the Court
It was a public desecration
Blow to decency
It was a public defamation
Pray! Pray!
The indoctrinated children
Of Fred Phelp's scurvy crew
March in their parents' footsteps
With a flag tied to their shoes
It was an 8 to 1 decision
Heard the judges say
It was complete abomination
Victims have to pay
It was the law in degradation
Pray! Pray!
The opinions were revealed
A grieving man sought justice
His tormentors had appealed
It was an 8 to 1 decision
Legalese quite dense
A calculated insult
To those who died in our defense
They said "Fred, pick up your bullhorn
And give that sign a wave
Go and find a fallen soldier
Go and dance upon his grave."
Prey! Prey!
There was a family from Topeka
On a mission sent from God
They were skilled at litigation
They were bent upon jihad
It was a public demonstration
Treason on display
The young corporal they were mocking
Was one thousand feet away
They sang "God has cursed our country"
They defiled the US flag
They laughed at every mother's son
Who returned home in a bag
Prey! Prey!
And elected legislators
They were stymied in the lurch
By this vicious band of inbreeds
Masquerading as a church
It was a First Amendment smackdown
It was the "right" to give offense
Only Justice Sam Alito
Showed a lick of common sense
He said, "Brothers, quit your cloister.
Leave your law books on the shelf
Think of how you would be feeling
If it had happened to yourself".
Pray! Pray!
And the moral of this story
Is, I am so sorry to report
If it's justice that you look for
Don't go looking to the Court
It was a public desecration
Blow to decency
It was a public defamation
Pray! Pray!
The indoctrinated children
Of Fred Phelp's scurvy crew
March in their parents' footsteps
With a flag tied to their shoes
It was an 8 to 1 decision
Heard the judges say
It was complete abomination
Victims have to pay
It was the law in degradation
Pray! Pray!
I believe in free speech, including the right to post this song. But sometimes, just because something is legal, that doesn't make it right. The Phelps family has the right to engage in general protest. But to travel across the country to target the funeral of an individual soldier constitutes a deliberate infliction of mental stress on the family. That is just plain wrong. Perhaps they should consult their Bible and figure out what Jesus would do.
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