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Song Parodies -> "Learn A-La-Carte (Its Culinary Art)"
Original Song Title:
"Achy Breaky Heart"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Billy Ray Cyrus
Parody Song Title:
"Learn A-La-Carte (Its Culinary Art)"
Parody Written by:
Jason
The Lyrics
This was written in response to Phil Alexander's 'Crappy Modern Art' parody, with a similar 'art' theme (art of cooking)
You can learn to cook by reading a cookbook
You can even make some rice pudding
Or you can make roast-lamb, and garnish it with ham
And add some very nice salad-dressing
You can make a cake, which lets you learn to bake
Don't forget the jam for the filling
And pre-heat the oven, gas mark number seven
And don't forget to mix up some icing.
So learn A-La-Carte, Its Culinary Art
You might make some tasty dishes
And If You A-La-Carte, and make a tasty tart
You might cook some lovely fishes
You can cook some chips, and sweet-and-sour dips
Or you can use a wok and fry noodles
Add Extra-Virgin oil, and bring it to the boil
And right now for dessert apple strudel
Oh learn to be a cook, so we can have a look
At each and all of your lovely suppers
This succulent roast-beef which has the nice bay-leaf
I'll never ever eat some cheeseburgers
So learn A-La-Carte, Its Culinary Art
You might make some tasty dishes
And If You A-La-Carte, and make a tasty tart
You might cook some lovely fishes
Ooo
So learn Al-La-Carte, Its Culinary Art
You might make some tasty dishes
And If you A-La-Carte, and make a tasty tart
You might cook some lovely fishes
Ooo
Learn Al-La-Carte, Its Culinary Art
You might make some tasty dishes
Ooo
Learn Al-La-Carte, Its Culinary Art
You might cook some lovely fishes
Ooo
You can even make some rice pudding
Or you can make roast-lamb, and garnish it with ham
And add some very nice salad-dressing
You can make a cake, which lets you learn to bake
Don't forget the jam for the filling
And pre-heat the oven, gas mark number seven
And don't forget to mix up some icing.
So learn A-La-Carte, Its Culinary Art
You might make some tasty dishes
And If You A-La-Carte, and make a tasty tart
You might cook some lovely fishes
You can cook some chips, and sweet-and-sour dips
Or you can use a wok and fry noodles
Add Extra-Virgin oil, and bring it to the boil
And right now for dessert apple strudel
Oh learn to be a cook, so we can have a look
At each and all of your lovely suppers
This succulent roast-beef which has the nice bay-leaf
I'll never ever eat some cheeseburgers
So learn A-La-Carte, Its Culinary Art
You might make some tasty dishes
And If You A-La-Carte, and make a tasty tart
You might cook some lovely fishes
Ooo
So learn Al-La-Carte, Its Culinary Art
You might make some tasty dishes
And If you A-La-Carte, and make a tasty tart
You might cook some lovely fishes
Ooo
Learn Al-La-Carte, Its Culinary Art
You might make some tasty dishes
Ooo
Learn Al-La-Carte, Its Culinary Art
You might cook some lovely fishes
Ooo
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 4 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 12 | 9 | 12 |
User Comments
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Succulent, Jason! But be careful with odd stresses on words at the end of your lines. You've got odd stresses on words like "fish-ES", pud-DING", which makes the parody a bit clunky. Otherwise, 555s
Thanks Kristof!
I was about to write almost word for word what Kristof said, including the "succulent" - as for teh stresses, this is an example of where you've settled for correct syllable count, without going the extra (and more important) step of correct stresses and line shape - 555
artistically tasty
Don't know the OS, Jason...I've studiously avoided it lo these many years, so I can't comment on the pacing or word word/syllable emphasis...but I trust Stu & Kristof...two of the best pacer's around. But I don't need anybody to tell me this is a fun read - I can see that for myself.
Thanks Stuart, Ann H and Paul!
Mmm... that was good some pacing issues but I ate too much of it "burps" excuse me! 454
Lotsa food for thought - and laughs! 555
(SOTM) It was OK.
SOTM - Cheesy, but in the best possible taste :P
SOTM - Artistic
SOTM - Anything about food is good in my books, 5-5-5
Woohoo! Thanks Max P and Thee Charnstar!
SOTM - What Kristof and Stuart said; using words with mismatched stresses at the end of most of the lines makes it less appealing, as does the repetition. Still a fun read, though.
SOTM - The cook off this month is too hot for this one, though I like the general idea of a food parody to this song.
(SOTM) It seems every other line had a bad stress at the end...could've used an extra five minutes in the oven.
(SOTM) Three fives for the SOTM !
Not a bad parody at all, I agree with Stuart and Kristof on the unusual stressing, but other than that a good job here.
(SOTM) just read and agree with my previous comment, but that ignores the qualities of this piece, the best of which was the title line "So learn A-La-Carte, Its Culinary Art" which rolls around the tongue like a maltezer - great effort Jason
You're making me hungry, dude, and I just ate lasagna for supper!
Thanks to the most recent commenters.
Chris F: Thank you. I'll make a note of that.
Peter A: Yea food parodies appeal to me as well. Thanks!
Bobpiecheese: See Chris F's comment.
Johnny D: Thanks!
Matthias: Also another thanks!
Stuart M: Thank you! Im glad you like the title of this parody and how it scans!
Michael M: Lasagne is my favourite dish as well!.
Peter A: Yea food parodies appeal to me as well. Thanks!
Bobpiecheese: See Chris F's comment.
Johnny D: Thanks!
Matthias: Also another thanks!
Stuart M: Thank you! Im glad you like the title of this parody and how it scans!
Michael M: Lasagne is my favourite dish as well!.
(SOTM) Nothing to add that I haven't alredy said. keep writing, dude!
Thank you Kristof!
(SOTM) Deliciously funny, Jason. Made me hungry for more. And any other food-related cliches, too.
(SOTM) Well, A La Carte. . .Achy Breaky Heart. . .I can honestly say I would not have thought of that, so kudos to you. . .but "lovely fishes" ahem. . .well, intriguing to say the least
(SOTM) What, you wrote a food parody without mentioning steak or BBQ? 555 calories per serving for the apple strudel.
Loved it! 555!
Mikey Squirrel: Thanks for that!
B.A.D.: Thanks also. The fishes sounded good at the time!
B.A.D.: Thanks also. The fishes sounded good at the time!
Also thanks Wolverine and Jack.
(SOTM) I am not looking forward to fish tarts. They don't sound very yummy! hehe. 5's!
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