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Song Parodies -> "He Once Could Bite"
Original Song Title:
"Because The Night"
(MP3)Original Performer:
10,000 Maniacs
Parody Song Title:
"He Once Could Bite"
Parody Written by:
The Comedian
The Lyrics
Don't fear him, baby, that undead man
Hold him close, and you'll understand
Desire and hunger is the fire he breathes
Blood is the banquet on which he feeds
Go on now, and you'll understand
The way love feels under his command
Take his hand, as the sun descends
He can't hurt you now
Can't hurt you now
Can't hurt you now-o-ow-o-ow-o-ow-o-ow-o-ow!
He once could bite,
And bleed his lover!
He once could bite,
To feed blood-lust!
He once could bite,
Now he's a gummer -
He once could bite,
Now he just sucks...
(Oh) You might doubt, maybe, when you're alone
Blood is the drink for his empty soul
He's a dark angel, who bites in vain
'Cause in his head, not a tooth remains
Go on now, and you'll understand
The way love feels with an undead man
Take his hand, as the sun descends
He can't hurt you now
Can't hurt you now
Can't hurt you now-o-ow-o-ow-o-ow-o-ow-o-ow!
He once could bite,
And bleed his lover!
He once could bite,
To feed blood-lust!
He once could bite,
Now he's a gummer -
He once could bite,
Now he just sucks...
(instrumental)
For blood,
he weeps -
Without
it,
Vicious hunger yearns,
and burns!
Without
Teeth, oh he cannot bite -
He gives,
you goth-ic hickies,
He will leave,
red lines,
you feel,
the weal,
Of hickies now...
Hickies now...
Hickies now-ow-ow-ow, OH!!
He once could bite,
And bleed his lover!
He once could bite,
To feed blood-lust!
He once could bite,
Now he's a goner -
Once he was a vampire of death,
but now he's dust...
Hold him close, and you'll understand
Desire and hunger is the fire he breathes
Blood is the banquet on which he feeds
Go on now, and you'll understand
The way love feels under his command
Take his hand, as the sun descends
He can't hurt you now
Can't hurt you now
Can't hurt you now-o-ow-o-ow-o-ow-o-ow-o-ow!
He once could bite,
And bleed his lover!
He once could bite,
To feed blood-lust!
He once could bite,
Now he's a gummer -
He once could bite,
Now he just sucks...
(Oh) You might doubt, maybe, when you're alone
Blood is the drink for his empty soul
He's a dark angel, who bites in vain
'Cause in his head, not a tooth remains
Go on now, and you'll understand
The way love feels with an undead man
Take his hand, as the sun descends
He can't hurt you now
Can't hurt you now
Can't hurt you now-o-ow-o-ow-o-ow-o-ow-o-ow!
He once could bite,
And bleed his lover!
He once could bite,
To feed blood-lust!
He once could bite,
Now he's a gummer -
He once could bite,
Now he just sucks...
(instrumental)
For blood,
he weeps -
Without
it,
Vicious hunger yearns,
and burns!
Without
Teeth, oh he cannot bite -
He gives,
you goth-ic hickies,
He will leave,
red lines,
you feel,
the weal,
Of hickies now...
Hickies now...
Hickies now-ow-ow-ow, OH!!
He once could bite,
And bleed his lover!
He once could bite,
To feed blood-lust!
He once could bite,
Now he's a goner -
Once he was a vampire of death,
but now he's dust...
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 13 | 13 | 13 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Too many great lines to quote...this is GREAT!!! Awesome, Johnny 5's
I'm tipping a hickey would be a GOOD result from a night with that bloke, all things considered...... inspired as usual Johnny - 555
Is there something you're not telling us, JD?...Or should I call you Vlad? :-) 555s
Kristof totally took my comment!! (pouting now!) Nice work, Johnny! 5s...
Another song about Cheney.
LMAO! So so so clever!!
There's false teeth you know, or, with eternity to spend, he could just gum you to death.
Nicely done, JD. Keep up the good work!
Thank you Dee & Stuart & Kristof & Arwen & JB & Ashkicksass & Peter & Serafina!
that is just frickin' awesome. You do not know how hard I laughed while reading this. Sounds like something I'd sing to freak a friend out.
Thanks, Happy Phantom. The " ? " question-mark characters are actually supposed to be " - " hyphen/dash-characters, but they got munged by a software glitch on AmIRight some months ago and turned into question-marks.
(luv contest '06) What I loved about this was the odd incongruency between the gothic poetry and the ridiculousness of a fangless Dracula. Nice.
(LUVCOMP) Reminds of a really bad joke: What do you call an old vampire? An old sucker. Terrible, I know. But this parody is not terrible. Good job, Johnny D.
I Vant To Give Vou Fives!!! 1-2-3-4-5... Bwa, hwa, hwa, hwa, hwa!!!
(LUVCOMP) Is this that same vampire that was in your Doors parody "Bite My Tire"? EXCELLENT work as always, John. 555
(LUV) see above - brilliant JD
That is an amazing parody of a true lover named Dracula.
LOVE...still very funny, Johnny...and great OS!
(LUVCOMP) 'Bites in vain'... too funny, JD. Suck on these 5s.
(LUV) Spookingly funny parody, 5's
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