She’s got plagues, she’s prone to infection.
She buys kegs, but won’t use protection.
Like ham and eggs, frying pan connections.
She gets lost, at every intersection.
Called a doctor. He just mocked her.
She’s all white.

She’s got crabs, she knows how to cook them.
They’re boiled alive, splashing on her dress hem.
Serve them with linguini, garlic and tomatoes.
Or maybe rice, some savory risotto.
Let’s go dine, with red wine,
My bib is on tight.

SOLO

Her crab legs, were cooked to perfection.
All the shells, to garbage collection.
Her new range, is one with convection.
No more plagues, she passed her inspection.
That’s her story, and her name is Lori,
So good night.