The conception: abstract
All the parts were quite an array
You've got a blank slate
You will create
But twist of fate, man you made you did cheat
Were the intentions un-cruel?
Fame you chased in black of night
And then one cable crossed feeds the shocks
He's unleashed!
And then discovers: incomplete!

Cries: No play!
Flew into rage, made a big scene
Such things make him a monster
You know there's something wrong
He says he's minus a schlong, so then
Such things make him a monster

The omission, you can tell
Pisses him, he pouts with a bent
'Cause the dong-less, man is he
Not forgiving; goes to your fears
Can't get it up, he ain't up, so you're running out of time
You've seen his aim on your balls
And his one little stump ain't a rock; can't compete
He wants a lover so replete

Dis-o-beys
Screw what you say, stays really mean
Such things make him a monster
You know you've done him wrong
Because he's missin' a dong, so then
Such things make him a monster
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Such things, such dumb things, make him a monster

He's not sleazy, but he grieves
Nobody be playing with he
But when the long part goes in the right place
You know he'll be smiling with glee
Not getting stuff is too tough
He wants to play hot stuff in buff
Bigger and harder with balls
And with the right antidote it puts a bulge in his coat
Goes under covers, now complete

He's o-kay
Do what you say, stays real serene
Fun thing leads to a lover
Can tell he's swinging strong
So now he feels he belongs, so then
Long thing eases the monster

Yeah, yeah

Such things, such dumb things, make him a monster
Long thing, long dong thing eases the monster

Such things, such dumb things, make him a monster
Strong thing, strong schlong thing eases the monster

[Repeat and fade]