Intro: Canada, Alaska
Nowhere near Nebraska
Like artic and tundra
Of the Yupik genre
That polar is colder
Always gives cold shoulders

Verse 1: These people from sub-zero degrees
There’s a group called Eskimos
Up in the ice and snow
So far away from it all
Winter wonderland
Boiling drinks freezing in your hand
We’ll know just who to call
And eat blubber from a walrus can
From the Eskimos

Chorus: Inuits, I knew it
They know how to do it, yeah
They’re hunters, and fishers
Brave a frigid blizzard
No Citgos, Texacos
Cuz the do not need those
(Oooh, I wanna be more like the Eskimos)
They are so chill and plus they keep it cold
Far exceeds Mexico
No tienen Eskimos

We should give thanks, their money’s in snow banks

Verse 2: Walk out on the sea
Where they’ll teach me trades like ice fishing
Flash a grin at penguins
Man that would be astonishing
And their beds are nice
Ice sheets for six-month nights
When we come back from our trip
Give me a sensual nose-rub kiss
That’s made by Eskimos

Chorus: Sea leopards, sea lions
Oooh this is my Zion
See caribous in snowshoes
No, I’m not drunk on booze!
Pass escrow in Juneau
Baby why don’t we go?
(Oooh I wanna live amongst the Eskimos)
Drink from their wisdom
Like don’t eat gold snow
That’s what I’ve gotta know!
And learn from Eskimos

Must you poo, then you use an ig-loo

[Instrumental Break]

Verse 3: Bet nobody knows
A better group than Eskimos
Sometimes their night sky glows
And nothing can beat that, y’all
Can’t beat Eskimos

Chorus: Don’t wear a fedora
To kick-ass auroras
Or a malice old phallus
At the borealis
That seal smell is so swell
Baby please let’s go dwell
(Oooh, I wanna be one with the Eskimos)
We’ll be more happy
If we just would go
Who needs all of their toes?
Well it ain’t Eskimos

Chorus: Polar bears? Oh who cares?
That’s why we’ll have scarebears
Scared of mooses? Well deuces
I’m sure they have truces
The reindeer best stay clear
Or they’ll end up pan-seared
(Oooh, I don’t think you want to be Eskimos)
Just wait ‘til we’re there
Maybe you love’ll grow
See babe I told you so!
We’re both now Eskimos

Chorus: When we’re home make you moan
When lick your snow cones
You aren’t fickle, you tickle
You want my icicle
The blizzard that we make
Gets a blast of snowflakes
(Oooh, I told you we could be good Eskimos)
We act like the locals
You should take some notes
Why are they at our throats?
Guess that’s not Eskimo

[Fade out]