I was tired just like Simon
We'd been together too long
Like that worn out Theodore
What's his favorite song
So while they lay there sleepin
I read the paper in bed
And in the personal columns
There was this letter I read

Join Alvin and the chipmunks
We're getting caught in the rain
If you're not into their songs
If you have half a brain
If you like Alvin and the chipmunks
In the tale of the tape
Then we're the fools that you've looked for
Write to us and escape

I didn't think about this lady
I know that sounds kinda of mean
But me and this old lady
Had fallen into the same old dull routine
So I wrote to the paper
Took out a personal ad
And she's a sitcom actress
I thought it wasn't half bad

Yes I hate Doris Roberts
And getting caught in the act
I'm not much like Peter Boyle
And there's something I've lacked
I've got to ditch her by tomorrow noon
And cut through all those weird drapes
And Brad Garrett is stupid
So I'll plan our escape

So I'm watching Hope and Faith
And they hate each other
I knew their frowns in an instant
Well they don't have a brother
It was my favotite show
And they hate George Lopez
Then they laughed for a moment,
And I said "buy a pez"

So you watched Family Matters
Back in the 1990's
And the feel of Steve Urkel
There are some more freebies
If you like T.G.I. Fridays
Nobody can be raped
You're the one who hates us
You just shouldn't escape

Join Alvin and the chipmunks
We're getting caught in the rain
If you're not into their songs
If you have half a brain
If you like Alvin and the chipmunks
In the tale of the tape
Then we're the fools that you've looked for
Write to us and escape