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Song Parodies -> "I Just Flattened A Scale With My Fat Ass"
Original Song Title:
"It's The End Of The World As We Know It"
Original Performer:
REM
Parody Song Title:
"I Just Flattened A Scale With My Fat Ass"
Parody Written by:
Matthias
The Lyrics
Gained weight
Cause I ate that cheesecake
Chocolate shakes and candy canes
Now I feel my belt strain…
Diets are inhumane, Can’t munch on small ferns
Since I tore my blue jeans, might taste lima beans
Pepsi Zero I need, binge, purge, eat, blow
Slender due to blenders mixing up Slim Fast, grow vast
Dire fast food buyer, now I won’t eat at Wendy’s
Cause it’s carrots I desire to make fat more slight
Chef whips me up some spicy curry and I worry my tongue will be wrecked
Gain more weight, run on a treadmill, run, scamper, jog
Sweat like it is rain, I’m drenched
Waste dough, Videos: Richard Simmons whatta goof
But I’m still huge, from that shelf, stuff myself
When I tried to smoke weed, it just made me hungry
Tossing out the wrapper and shove candy deep inside, wide
It’s idiotic, need narcotics alright, those might
Burn pounds overnight!
I just flattened the scale with my fat ass
I just flattened the scale with my fat ass
I just flattened the scale with my fat ass
Cause I love to dine!
I’m in shock, it’s a terror, the scale here must have an error
Fat won’t burn, concerned, 15 more pounds returned
I’ll cut out butter popcorn, Thanksgiving stuffing
20 slabs of chocolate cake, maybe then I’ll lose some weight
Hate love handles, and my stomach, I’m down and frown
Skipping meals, lunch, done, gut growl
And still my rear it appears a gigantic large sphere
Once overspent, yes overspent, yes overspent on fries
Those days are illusions, since I clogged my arteries and almost died
I still flatten that scale with my wide butt
(I am not fat I’m just big boned)
I still flatten that scale with my wide butt
(I am not fat I’m just big boned)
I still flatten that scale with my wide butt
(I am not fat I’m just big boned)
I look like a swine
You’ll hear me whine…
I’m as large as a whale just like Shamu
(I think I might be overgrown)
I’m as large as a whale just like Shamu
(I think I might be overgrown)
I’m as large as a whale just like Shamu
(I think I might be overgrown)
Weigh 299
After some time my pants fit right
And I fit through the door outside
Carrot sticks I have dined it made me whine
I tried Atkins cutting carbs
Now see my wang
Had a party, made some cake, had a piece… BOOM!!!
My once erotic, skinny stomach went to pot! Cripes? Cripes!
I will never be thin, let’s just face it
(Liposuction helps implode)
I will never be thin, let’s just face it
(Liposuction helps implode)
I will never be thin, let’s just face it
(Liposuction helps implode)
It won’t last, I’ve tried
I just flattened the scale with my fat ass…
I just flattened the scale with my fat ass…
I just flattened the scale with my fat ass…
(I am not fat I’m just big boned)
I’m too freakin’ wide!
I won’t score with a girl while I’m this size
(So I screw them all by phone)
I won’t score with a girl while I’m this size
(So I screw them all by phone)
I won’t score with a girl while I’m this size
(So I screw them all by phone)
Rod’s too hard to find
I’m forced to munch on apples and carrots
(I wish I could eat a taco)
I’m forced to munch on apples and carrots
(I wish I could eat a taco)
I’m forced to munch on apples and carrots
(I wish I could eat a taco)
El Fatso’s Denied
Cause I ate that cheesecake
Chocolate shakes and candy canes
Now I feel my belt strain…
Diets are inhumane, Can’t munch on small ferns
Since I tore my blue jeans, might taste lima beans
Pepsi Zero I need, binge, purge, eat, blow
Slender due to blenders mixing up Slim Fast, grow vast
Dire fast food buyer, now I won’t eat at Wendy’s
Cause it’s carrots I desire to make fat more slight
Chef whips me up some spicy curry and I worry my tongue will be wrecked
Gain more weight, run on a treadmill, run, scamper, jog
Sweat like it is rain, I’m drenched
Waste dough, Videos: Richard Simmons whatta goof
But I’m still huge, from that shelf, stuff myself
When I tried to smoke weed, it just made me hungry
Tossing out the wrapper and shove candy deep inside, wide
It’s idiotic, need narcotics alright, those might
Burn pounds overnight!
I just flattened the scale with my fat ass
I just flattened the scale with my fat ass
I just flattened the scale with my fat ass
Cause I love to dine!
I’m in shock, it’s a terror, the scale here must have an error
Fat won’t burn, concerned, 15 more pounds returned
I’ll cut out butter popcorn, Thanksgiving stuffing
20 slabs of chocolate cake, maybe then I’ll lose some weight
Hate love handles, and my stomach, I’m down and frown
Skipping meals, lunch, done, gut growl
And still my rear it appears a gigantic large sphere
Once overspent, yes overspent, yes overspent on fries
Those days are illusions, since I clogged my arteries and almost died
I still flatten that scale with my wide butt
(I am not fat I’m just big boned)
I still flatten that scale with my wide butt
(I am not fat I’m just big boned)
I still flatten that scale with my wide butt
(I am not fat I’m just big boned)
I look like a swine
You’ll hear me whine…
I’m as large as a whale just like Shamu
(I think I might be overgrown)
I’m as large as a whale just like Shamu
(I think I might be overgrown)
I’m as large as a whale just like Shamu
(I think I might be overgrown)
Weigh 299
After some time my pants fit right
And I fit through the door outside
Carrot sticks I have dined it made me whine
I tried Atkins cutting carbs
Now see my wang
Had a party, made some cake, had a piece… BOOM!!!
My once erotic, skinny stomach went to pot! Cripes? Cripes!
I will never be thin, let’s just face it
(Liposuction helps implode)
I will never be thin, let’s just face it
(Liposuction helps implode)
I will never be thin, let’s just face it
(Liposuction helps implode)
It won’t last, I’ve tried
I just flattened the scale with my fat ass…
I just flattened the scale with my fat ass…
I just flattened the scale with my fat ass…
(I am not fat I’m just big boned)
I’m too freakin’ wide!
I won’t score with a girl while I’m this size
(So I screw them all by phone)
I won’t score with a girl while I’m this size
(So I screw them all by phone)
I won’t score with a girl while I’m this size
(So I screw them all by phone)
Rod’s too hard to find
I’m forced to munch on apples and carrots
(I wish I could eat a taco)
I’m forced to munch on apples and carrots
(I wish I could eat a taco)
I’m forced to munch on apples and carrots
(I wish I could eat a taco)
El Fatso’s Denied
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 2 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 23 | 22 | 22 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Annie are you okay...Annie are you okay... :)
Perfect Score!
This reminds me of my parents telling me on how much weight I've gained. I just lost 5 pounds recently, just to gain it back once more. This also reminds me of my fave overweight characters like Cartman, Sherman Klump, Homer, and Peter Griffin. Oh, and also my fave actress Rosie O'Donnell. Anyways, my friend lost 45 pounds in 6 months and looked great. His younger girlfriend got more attracted to him. Anyways, good parody you wrote! You lost 555 pounds.
I echo Christie Marie, and I give you 5s, Matthias!
You took on a real tough one, and have commendable pacing. Overall a very good effort on this one, there are some spots that would be difficult to sing, as I said good pacing, some of the stresses would be very awkward--but in a song like this, it's almost impossible to be perfect--this was easily among the toughest Epic 40 songs, though I'm beginning to learn that there is no way to make a real Epic 40, most of the songs I'm doing just to do now are just as hard if not harder (Ice Ice Baby was much more challenging for me than One Week, though neither one were pushovers or one sit quickies by any stretch.)
(Ages) Excellent work on a tough tune. I'm with Dave, and I would also commend you on the chorus changes, too.
(Ages) I dare say it was the live performance which made it difficult to read this, as your lines and internal rhyming matched brilliantly throughout. Not saying a rapper would have performed it better, but... but a rapper would have performed it better. Epic effort and many laughs, sir.
Nice job of a difficult song. 555
(Ages2) Ah, the epic battle between the fat man and the scales. Definitely a tough OS to work with, but you pulled through with flying colours. Well, waddling colours in this case :P 555
(Ages) See my above comment. . .can't add much to my original comment.
Wow, epic effort here Matty. Be proud of ths one, which is filled with funny.
AGES. Man. Man. Man OH Man. There is no way on EARTH that I would attempt this OS. Props for that alone, but this was great!
(Ages) I found it clever rather than funny, but I give you points for cleverness. Very sharp details. I wonder, though, if you've ever been fat. (I am.) I see empathy or sympathy lacking. Oh well. 5-4-4.
As others have said...great pacing and internal rhyming on a very tough OS.
Again...Matty doesn't get the girl...
Again...Matty doesn't get the girl...
I'll get her one of these days Invisible Boy... One of these days!!!!
(Ages) Who's Annie? Have to give you credit for taking this one on for the contest. Excellent job!
I could never follow the original, so I looked up there lyrics, and the pacing was on point. It was hilarious, also. I'm giving you 555, to match your weight. xD
[SOTM] See above. Unfortunately, at 16, I've never been over 160 pounds, so I wouldn't know the pain Melanie Lee is talking about. :-\
Wow, this is really impressive. Not a ton of hilarity, though "I am not fat, I'm just big boned" stood out as a perfect sub. Overall a great job on a song so difficult I've run screaming from it several times.
Penutbutter jelly time...
SOTM...thanks for entering something that is still so fresh in my mind from Ages...it makes my voting go more easily. ; ) This is still impressive, Matty...and I'd still never be able to do the OS. =) Nice work.
(SOTM) See above!
(SOTM) See above.
Doh, well done on this still intensely fast song. Your word-play to stay in theme throughout is consistently impressive. Also, the first time I read 'Cripes? Cripes!' I thought it said 'Cripes? Crapes!'
All it takes is 555 days of LCHF...
(SOTY) I "Laughed" off pounds, reading this one!
(SOTY) Still havent seen the end of this end!
SOTY...still a triumphant effort on an impossibly hard song...
And I thought I had weight problems... LOL! Reminds me of my "You're On A Diet" parody, though infinitely better. 555
See above, again
Fun to revisit...see above
You sure like to tackle beastly songs... ironically, you kept most of the lines from falling flat, and... you didn't make an ass of yourself? Yeah. Seriously epic job here.
Artistry - A MATTHIAS CLASSIC!!! Still "weighs heavy" on laughs for mr!!!
REM Artistry: Hard OS to parody. Gotta say I was hoping for a happy ending, but alas! Then again, so was the subject of the parody!
(Artistry) I particularly liked the 'big boned' part.
And the security code is GGQ. Giant Gentleman's Quarterly?
And the security code is GGQ. Giant Gentleman's Quarterly?
I really like that you included the background vocals. Excellent job with a challenging OS.
(Artistry) See above! Again!
See above
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