Faking your way through the world today
Takes more brains than you've got.
Hanging around your worst of critics
Puts you on the spot.
Why would you do that anyway?

All those gigs where you've got no rigs,
Can make for one tough sale;
And the slightest breakdown
Can lead to an epic fail;
And your acting methods really blow...

Why would you want to go
Where everybody knows you're lame,
And sees through your every claim?
Who'd want to be where constantly
For trouble you'll take the blame?
Who'd want to be where everybody knows you're lame?

Tongue tripping hard; you look like a 'tard.
What was it you just said? (Did you say what you said?)
All your gaffes are on the record;
Folks laugh until they're dead.
Then the worst insults at you are hurled...

Why go the one place in the world
Where everybody knows you're lame?
It's your only claim to fame!
Who'd want to go where you well know
Through the mud goes your name?
Who'd want to go where everybody knows you're lame?

...Where everybody knows you're lame; (Everybody, everybody knows you're lame!)
It's your only claim to fame!
...Where everybody knows you're lame; (Everybody, everybody knows you're lame!)
Through the mud now goes your name...
[Etc.]