Grandpa's all hung over 'cause he drained beer
Drinking from a keg on Christmas Eve
You can say there's no one drinks like Grandpa
But as for Mom and Grandma, oh they're peeved

He'd been sipping on some egg nog
Then the beer began to flow
And he had quite the celebration
Then he stumbled to the floor with eyes aglow

Went to church for midnight service
We sat Gramps down in the back
He ate all the sacred Lord's bread
And the preacher told us never to come back

Grandpa got the munchies 'cause he drained beer
Ate up all the church bread Christmas Eve
Preacher says there's such a thing as sacred
But ask for rue from Grandpa, he dry heaves

Now we're all so down on Grandpa
Think he's taking us to hell
He just sits there watching football
Drinking beer and laying farts that really smell

We got pissed at big lout Grandpa
All the family's stressed, we'll crack
Grandma's tired of Grandpa's blunders
So she smacks him up and gives him quite a whack
Whack attack!

Grandpa got worked over by his main dear
Might not be around come New Year's Eve
You can't say that Grandma didn't warn him
Before she let her anger be unleashed

No excuse for his behavior
No more putting up with it (nah)
He must make a resolution
'Cause we all have had enough of Grandpa's sh!t

We've warned all our friends and neighbors
Better watch your liquor shelves
Hey, we wouldn't give you five cents
For his promise not to break the steps of twelve

Grandpa needs some help to get his brain clear
If he does you know we'll be relieved
Now Grandma says if he skips any meetings
She'll kick his ass from here to Tennessee
Bring it, Grandma!

Grandpa made a promise to abstain: beer
Hoping it's a goal he can achieve
If you say that Grandpa won't be sneaking
Then we can say that you are quite naive

Murry Chrishmush...


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