I've never seen you looking so happy as you do tonight
And I can understand why you might
I've never seen so many men envious of you as you dance
They want to get into those pants, can tell from their stance
But I feel I ought to tell you
For to leave you in the dark would not be fair
And you might care:

(Chorus)
She fakes it in bed
Her farting's extreme
Cheek to reek
There's hair on her chest,
That's matted with grease
Half a pint at least
But how do I know this beauty by your side?
I'll never forget, I slept with her last night

I've never seen you looking so nervous as you did tonight
I've never seen you look so uptight, it was embarr'sing
I've never seen somebody not want to be there by her side
And so I turned to her and smiled, as you ran away
I have never had such a feeling
Like I'm being a complete and utter c**t.. but that's all right

(Chorus)
The lady in red
Is dancing with me
Cheek to cheek
You're no longer here,
It's just her and me,
And the referee
And soon I will know, a feeling of delight
I'm gonna find out, if I was wrong or right
I'm soon gonna find out, if I was wrong or right
The lady in red
She fakes it in bed
She gives damn good head
My lady in red (I love you)